Tag Archives: boloney

It’s All You Can Eat Day Here At Our Comedic Diner.


We here at Mustard and Boloney’s cartoon diner continually search the world over looking for tasty dishes to introduce to you, our dear devoted patrons. Our criteria for this exotic food is a simple one: it must be low in calories, high in protein, and guaranteed to fill the stomach sans indigestion.  And, as Alexandre is from Quebec (and speaks fluent French) and I from Ontario (and speak fluent Ontarian) then it’s great to offer up something in at least two languages!

As mentioned we try to limit our use of calorie-laden carbohydrates for those watching their waste-lines. And for those eschewing meat our vegetarian dishes are to just die for! (I, Mustard am a vegetarian whereas Boloney, is not)

Alexandre (Boloney) thinks I am a little crazy for giving up meat and I think he’s a little odd being named after a popular luncheon meat. (though the spelling is different) What were his parents thinking anyway?

Maybe they foresaw that in the future he would team up with a Mustard-loving writer; one who would make sure their son would at least eat his vegetables along with all that meat. I mean without me he wouldn’t have broccoli and legume gas!!  (thank heavens he lives over 500 kilometers away in another city)

At our diner we use only the finest in state-of-the art cookware too. No half-measures and  no teflon-coated pans used here. (a watched pot never boils and our friend here is making sure that’s true; no wonder he needs help)

And, we use only the finest seasonings known to man (and a few that are not) to spice up ourcolor_0343_rack signature dishes. (yes, we sign our name onto every dish that leaves our gourmet kitchen).

We do this because when people say ‘bite me’ to us we quickly reply that they already have.

As you can plainly see Alexandre doesn’t require the use of a hair net. (This came about after his barber ate at our diner but couldn’t afford to pay the bill, complaining about getting scalped). Alexandre decided to get ‘free’ haircuts for a year as opposed to making the poor fellow do the dishes. So now Boloneythe only thing that Alexandre drops into what he cooks is humorous anecdotes. (that’s why people leave our restaurant smiling, happy, and loaded with laughing gas.)






Well, the lunch crowd is making their way into our diner so I have to go and make some French fries. (the old-fashioned way). It seems that’s one of our most popular side-dishes! (we do bake not fry them as to be calorie conscious.)

Remember, the meat of our offerings is humor, complemented by a side order of irreverence, and all manner of situations and subjects. We are happy to create the delicious ‘aha’ moment with every meal. Thinking outside the icebox is mandatory in this diner, and some dishes may cause you to stand on your head and think, “So that’s what it all going to cost. They’re panels are very affordable indeed!”

Bon appetite!

Our Butts May Be Cold But Our Book Is So Warm. Seriously!

Boloney (Alexandre Rouillard) and I (Jeffrey Caulfield) live in Canada where the winters can be a touch cold; very cold indeed! It doesn’t bother us much as we are used to it but our new book ‘Butt Seriously‘ can’t take the chill. So, it’s decided to visit a much warmer climate for a couple of months until the spring returns.

(the guy on the left is not dressed too warm for the cold either. His cheeks are so frosty!)

Our good friend Kathy and her husband took pity on our chilly book so they decided to take it on a grand tour of the American book travels 2south west. Here it is on the back of their RV (it’s hard to make out but those are Arizona license plates.)

I think Kathy was having a bit too much Tequila when she took this out-of-focus picture. Our book looks a bit blurry-eyed as well.

But, our Butt’s (Seriously) book is at least nice and warm. It’s good to see it out enjoying itself on the open road, with the wind rustling through it’s pages as the scenery flies past. Who knows, someone may spot it and want a copy of their own.

(get your copy here)

I do hope if it does fall off the back of their vehicle that it doesn’t land too hard and sit neglected on the interstate.

color_0047_taste_funnyIf it does I can only hope these two characters will scoop it up and take it under their protective wing, as they appear to like good humour.

And our book, ‘Butt Seriously’ is definitely that!

Actually, Dan Piraro (creator of Bizarro) was kind enough to write the forward to our humorous tome.  (While out on his porch one day he happened to see it fly off of the back of an RV -a different trip – and land in his front yard.) Upon reading it he immediately felt the need to comment on its contents. He states, “The real art of cartooning is to create a compelling illustration that facilitates a compelling gag. Caulfield and Rouillard are the most color_0343_rackshining example of this unique combination I have seen in some time.”

Thanks Dan! (and we’re so glad our book didn’t bounce of off your well-manicured lawn and break a window).

If it did you might have had us put ‘on the rack’.

Of course by doing that would have only meant that our humour would be stretched that much further, and less cartoons would have been needed to be placed into the book. Ha!

book travel to Arizona

As I write this it is snowy and cold outside. But inside I feel warm all over knowing our book is getting a tan on a tablecloth of stars! (plus writing this while sitting in my infrared sauna helps me feel toasty too.) Thanks Kathy!!

So, why not get your own copy of our book ‘Butt Seriously‘ and take it out for a little trip? If you do make sure it’s buckled in good and tight.

And, if camping or hiking our book comes in very handy. You can eat a page a day for that  much-needed humour (and roughage), or use a page a day for un-needed ah, well, you know?

Butt Seriously!!!!!

(get your copy here now)










Mustard And Boloney T-Shirts Now Available. Seriously.



Good news for all of you comedic lovers out there who wear clothes (and for the ones that don’t we can tattoo the design right onto your chest). Mustard and Boloney now has t-shirts available for sale. That’s right!

These all white mens and women’s t-shirts come in sizes ranging from small to extra, extra-large. And the design is definitely one that will surely attract attention. (especially for all those nudists if it is tattooed onto their chest)

The design is the Statue of Liberty’s aromatic underarm; one about to be wiped fresh with antiperspirants.  A classic!

(actually, if you check on our website here you can see an animation of this particular cartoon; one complete with sound-effects)

With Christmas slowly creeping up now is a great time to order several for friends and family. Maybe even get an extra one for old St. Nicholas. (much better than leaving cookies and milk. Imustard-and-liberty--WOMEN-TEE mean, what if Santa is lactose and gluten intolerant? What then? We can’t have poor Santa cramping and passing wind in each house he’s visiting now can we?)

There is certainly no better way to impress his reindeer – or Mrs. Claus – than to be seen wearing a Mustard and Boloney original t-shirt under his red suit.


So, order yours (and his)  – right here – today!

(Oh, and try not to spill any Mustard on it.)