Well, dear readers, you’ll recall that in last weeks post I talked about my granddaughter Maisy, and how she just loved reading Mustard and Boloney’s latest book entitled: ‘Butt Seriously’. She loved it so much! In fact she’s ordered several more copies for friends at her day school. But, there was one thing that displeased her in that post. It was the line in which I referred to both of us needing to change our diapers before gazing at more cartoons. I wrote it as a sort of tongue-in-cheek bit of fun (me old; she young) but, well, she was not amused.
She called me up and mentioned that as she is now three she hasn’t in fact worn diapers in a very long time. I explained my reasoning and that our fans loved the post. Silence crept through the phone. “I appreciate your humour Grandpa and although witty – I too smiled for a moment – it was not entirely accurate as to my current bathroom needs.” (are we talking about what I think we’re talking about?) “Oh. ah, what can I do to make it up to you,” I asked. Silence again then, “I’ll think on it, but keep an eye on your inbox”. Then the phone went dead. I immediately went out and meditated trying to remain calm. (Breathe Mustard. Breathe.)
Upon returning home later – and feeling a touch more relaxed – I found this in my in box with a note saying, “Here is a picture of myself, my older brother (Isaac) and my younger sister (Gemma). As you can clearly see Gemma is the one needing diapers. If you could post this I would appreciate it”
Whew! Post a picture? I can do that. (I was worried she’d cancel her order for our books and maybe demand a kidney.)
I waited a day or so before calling her up to say that I had received the family picture, and it will definitely appear in my next post. Silence. Uh-oh, My heart skipped a beat. “Did you not open the other attachment to my message?” “Ah, no”, I sheepishly replied. More silence then “Just kidding gramps! Ha!! I had you going there, huh?” (She’ll never know just how close I came to using my home defibrillator.)
“I love you Maisy. You’re my special wee girl.” Silence again. (Thank heavens I didn’t power down the unit.) “Ah, gramps, are you talking about me having to wee wee again.”
“Heavens no,” I replied,
“it’s a Scottish term (as I am Scottish) that my mom used to use in place of the word ‘little’. You’re my special little granddaughter.”
“I’ll call you back, but first I need to check something in the dictionary.” With that, she hung up.
I instantly called my analyst to see is he could fit me in right away. (I should probably put him on speed dial.) I booked several hours for the following day.
October is a great time of the year here in Canada. Not only is it the month I was born in but it’s also the time when cooler temperatures settle in, trees change colour almost overnight (before dropping their crimson red or amber leaves to the forest floor) and thoughts of Thanksgiving dinner with family fills ones heart and mind.
But, other thoughts crowd in too because as Fall creeps in summer unfortunately peters out – and with it the heat! No longer can one wear plaid shorts, a tank top and sandals. And, most certainly wearing no clothes at all is definitely out of the question! (Sweaters and jackets are the new order of the day.)
Naturally, as the weather changes one can no more indulge in some of the more ‘warm
(I’d say this fellows handicap is off the charts!)
Those other notable companions that make up his foursome include: Dracula, The Werewolf and of course, The Mummy. (Dracula, rumour has it, is a lousy golf partner, as he apparently sucks the ‘life’ out of any game he’s in. Although, when you think about it, his partners are all already dead anyway.)
Also, as the temperature outside dips so does one ‘stop dipping’ because it’s too darn cold!.
(One could of course go to an indoor pool but then one wouldn’t get a tan now would they? Nor could you watch the traffic fly past as you’re speeding down the highway in the fast lane while floating on an inflatable chair, drink in hand, so above it all in your Google self-driving car.)
The Fall also brings with it a student’s quest for higher learning, as Colleges and Universities
(the tuition they charge at this institution is so astronomically high it should be considered criminal)
So, I say get out now and enjoy the crisp autumn weather while you can, because soon enough old man winter will not only be breathing down your neck but also up through the back ‘trap door’ of your long johns. Brrrrrrrrrr.
Bring me a steaming cup of hot chocolate and let me warm my toes by a cozy wood fire!
Well, it seems we have some very sharp movie buffs out there as we have our winners! They are: Beth, Kyle and Macs. (There are 3 winners because two of them arrived in my in-box at the same time so to be fair I’ll send them each a book.)
Others that were kind enough to enter (and did correctly guess the right answer) were: Fred, Michael, David, Howard and Scott! (And, I’m sure more will be in my in box next time I check.) Thanks to all. And thanks for visiting our Mustard and Boloney diner for all your comedic calories for the day.
And yes, the film is ‘Citizen Kane’ (a favourite). Only in our version it’s ‘Citizen Crane’. Ha!
And a special thanks again to Dan Piraro (Bizarro) for mentioning us on his blog. He also guessed the right answer to our contest but he already has a book – as he is the one who wrote the forward to it! (he is also a great movie buff like me.)
*****************************BONUS*********************************************Note: I am still received correct answers to the contest and that is so great to know how many of you are into classic films. As an extra bonus for those of you that purchase a book (through Paypal) from our site, I will personally hand-sign your copy. I’ll even do it in black ink…of course!