Tag Archives: movies

Nero plays while Rome burns

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Marilyn Monroe

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Take Your Seats. Our Full-Length Feature Is About To Begin.

Fade In.

Movies have always been a passion of mine. From as far back as I can remember I’ve always enjoyed them. So much so in fact, that when I went to university I majored in Film studies. And, as luck would have it, I won their top award for screenwriting. (that script became the basis for the full-length feature film ‘The Night Watchman’ )

So, when I started cartooning, many films, their characters, settings and such naturally became fair game for me, and Alexandre’s extremely creative pen. Can you name the movie inspiration for the above cartoon? Even better, what year was it made and exactly who was in it? (Try not to use Google.)

I sent this interesting send-up of a popular franchise to fellow cartoonist Dan Piraro (Bizarro) for his opinion – and he loved it! No word yet from J.K. Rowling. (on whether or not she likes Bizarro’s stuff.)

 

Here’s an odd twist on a famous scene from the movie ‘Ben Hur’. (Charlton Heston would be proud. Bring on the chariot race!)

This 1959 film was helmed by one of my favourite directors. His name? William Wyler. Other notable works from him include: Dodsworth (1936), Mrs. Miniver (1942), The Heiress (1945), The Best Years Of Our Lives (1946), Roman Holiday (1953), The Collector (1965), and Funny Girl (1968).

color_0266_ben_hur

 

(I actually have the original movie posters for Ben Hur from the cinema display windows – when they used to do that – framed, and hanging in my office at home.)

color_0429_De_Nero

 

In keeping with the Roman times theme, I thought this was a nice twist on a classic line. Again, can you name the film?  HInt: It stars Robert DeNiro. (well, duh.)

 

Actually early film stock was quite flammable so maybe that’s what started this disastrous fire. Apparently, Nero loved the cinema but didn’t believe in storing the negatives properly.

Personally, I just love black and white films. There are just so many layers to them. It’s too bad they colourize them now, because once done, it washes out the shadings and flattens the imagery. If they originated in colour, that’s okay,  but to paint it in, no. Watch any film noir picture like ‘Scarlet Street’ (1945), ‘In A Lonely Place (1950) or ‘The Big heat’ (1953) and you’ll see a prime example of how a black and white film can and should look. To see these films uncut – in their original form – check out movie station TCM (Turner Classic Movies)

Interesting fact: To go to the movies – silent pictures – back in 1910 cost .07 cents. In 1955 – the year I was born – a film ticket would set you back .45 cents. Now, to see a film, have popcorn and a drink I need to take out a second mortgage. And if I want butter on that popcorn…….don’t even ask! Although I guess one could stay home and watch movies all day from Netflix for a reasonable price. But, that’s not the same thing as being with a crowd and seeing it up on the big screen with big sound,  big effects, and even bigger than life movie stars.

Hey, soon we’ll be watching blockbusters shrunk down onto ones i-watch screen. I don’t know. I mean how many Avengers can you fit into that small a screen? Enough to save the universe I hope – or at the very least Apple.

Fade Out.

Pass The Buttered Popcorn. It’s Showtime!

Movies have always been a love of mine. My major in University was film and I  was fortunate enough to win the coveted ‘President’s Prize’ for screenwriting. (Actually that script was later produced into a full-length feature which aired on pay television almost 100 times!) The film was entitled: The Night Watchman’. (Read review here.)

 

Naturally, every film, movie star, director, make-up artist, screenwriter etc.  can lend itself to a little ribbing. (even the odd toe-tickling) And, we here at Mustard and Boloney are certainly good at that. So strip off your socks and shoes, and let me feather those tootsies with a

color_0296_hannibalhumorous ride through the world of entertainment!

But, before we begin, I need a little snack. Perhaps I should try the interesting recipe our friend here is promoting. Although as I am a vegetarian would eating a brain be classified as eating meat, even if it’s my own brain? And, how can I possibly answer that if I have no brain?

Maybe I should ask this fellow if he has any insight into the issue. (he told me to buy his book should I seek  the answers. To that I said, “I’ll be back”; to which I thought I heard him reply, “No problemo”.)

Speaking of brains, in this film those involved seek out the mighty Wizard to get – of all things – a brain for our poor scarecrow. (Apparently one made of straw just doesn’t cut it, unless your color_0284_oz_state_lineStephen Harper.)

Seems to me the others in that film were looking for a heart, some courage and a way to get home. (yep, Harper again)

In addition to the course on gourmet cooking I decided to check out some on philosophy but I had trouble doing my

assignments as the kid I shared a room with seemed to like be a little off, you know what I mean? He kept mentioning the word ‘wizard’ all the time but never in connection with the Land Of Oz. (Although he did have an imaginary dog he called ‘Toe, Toe’.) I say this because he was always looking down at those shoeless, sockless feet saying, “I’ll get you my pretty, and your little dog too!” Interesting.)

I think deep down he really wanted to be a tap dancer. (Only trouble was he kept falling of the sink.) Well, time to put away my cartoons for the day and settle in to watch a movie. Which one shall it be? Tough choice as there are so many great ones. How be I just flip through the stations to see what I can stream. Maybe movies are like a box of chocolates. You never know what you’re gonna get, especially if you don’t have a tv guide.

Got a favourite film you’d like us to poke fun at? Let me know what it is and we’ll see what we can do. Make me an offer I can’t refuse.

 

 

 

Mustard And Boloney Get Cheeky. ‘Butt’ Seriously!

Our book cover

 

We here at Mustard and Boloney cartoons are not adverse or afraid to show a little ‘skin’ from time-to-time, nor to get down and be a touch ‘cheeky’ every now and then as well. I mean we proudly display a bit on the cover of our latest book entitled: Butt Seriously.

(please, no wisecracks about the humour)

 

And, I know many of you have often wanted to go to work dressed a little more casual than usual; you know, get away from the tired, old, stuffy formal office look. Now not too many of you could show up at work like this color_0341_casual_fridaysand still expect to have a job by days end. As for me, well I can, as I work mostly from home. So, most often I simply sit around all day in the buff and no one cares. Think of me as the character that actor Richard Dreyfuss played in the 1977 film ‘The Goodbye Girl’ (for which he won is only Oscar to date). In the film he is in his bedroom playing the guitar when his roommate (Paula played by Marsha Mason) knocks and asks, “Are you decent?” He says back through the door, “Yes.” She then enters only to find him naked and playing his guitar. She says, “I thought you said you were decent?” He replies, “I am. I also happen to be naked.”

Still, there have been a few interesting ‘moments’ that working at home in the buff has presented me. I remember one time calmly answering the doorbell all the while forgetting I was completely`sans`clothing.  (Those Jehovah’s color_0589_assphaltWitnesses probably won’t be back anytime this century!) They should have just turned the other cheek and simply embraced the moment. I mean, isn’t it written, “But I sayeth to you. That you resist not evil; but whosoever shall smite you on your right cheek, turn to him the also other”).

In hindsight It probably wouldn’t have done them much good because upon leaving my front porch they invariably had to run past my driveway.

And let’s definitely hope those same Jehovah’s Witnesses never ventured far enough to run into another ‘clothing optional’ person. Once in a lifetime is surely enough!color_0101_nada

 

But, If they did I hope they took a selfie. Or, in this case a ‘soulie’.

Back in 1974 streaking was all the craze across North America. People would drop their clothes and streak through a crowded auditorium, wedding ceremony, even at the 46th annual Oscar ceremonies!

Ray Opel actually streaked across the Oscar stage right behind presenter David Niven. The ever-cool Niven barely blinked before casually addressing the audience. He said “Well, ladies and gentlemen, that was almost bound to happen.  But isn’t it fascinating to think that probably the only laugh that man will ever get in his life is by stripping off and showing his shortcomings?” (see clip here)

color_0130_bare_countryOne more note: The streaking craze was even made more famous by singer Ray Stevens when in 1974 he wrote and recorded  the song the Streak.

Well, I’m a bit tired now and I feel the need for a short vacation. This seems like a nice spot to park my butt. And, with my wife at my side we will certainly be doing a little dancing cheek-to-cheek. (Irving Berlin song from 1935)

Who knows, maybe I’ll bump into our Jehovah’s Witnesses friends here, relaxing (much needed), and listening to Ray Stevens on their i-pod. It’s good to commune and be one with nature, don’t you think?

Butt Seriously!

 

Fall Is In The Air

October is a great time of the year here in Canada.  Not only is it the month I was born in but it’s also the time when cooler temperatures settle in, trees change colour almost overnight (before dropping their crimson red or amber leaves to the forest floor) and thoughts of Thanksgiving dinner with family fills ones heart and mind.

 

But, other thoughts crowd in too because as Fall creeps in summer unfortunately peters out – and with it the heat! No longer can one wear plaid shorts, a tank top and sandals.  And, most certainly wearing no clothes at all is definitely out of the question! (Sweaters and jackets are the new order of the day.)

Naturally, as the weather changes one can no more indulge in some of the more ‘warm

color_0071_golf_frankensteinweather’ sports.

(I’d say this fellows handicap is off the charts!)

Those other notable companions that make up his foursome include: Dracula, The Werewolf and of course, The Mummy. (Dracula, rumour has it, is a lousy golf partner, as he apparently sucks the ‘life’ out of any game he’s in. Although, when you think about it, his partners are all already dead anyway.)

Also, as the temperature outside dips so does one ‘stop dipping’ because it’s too darn cold!.

color_0177_carpool

 

 

(One could of course go to an indoor pool but then one wouldn’t get a tan now would they? Nor could you watch the traffic fly past as you’re speeding down the highway in the fast lane while floating on an inflatable chair, drink in hand, so above it all in your Google self-driving  car.)

 

 

 

The Fall also brings with it a student’s quest for higher learning, as Colleges and Universities

color_0012_prizzonopen up their campuses to the inquiring mind.

 

 

(the tuition they charge at this institution is so astronomically high it should be considered criminal)

 

 

 

 

color_0134_thaw

 

 

So, I say get out now and enjoy the crisp autumn weather while you can, because soon enough old man winter will not only be breathing down your neck but also up through the back ‘trap door’ of your long johns. Brrrrrrrrrr.

Bring me a steaming cup of hot chocolate and let me warm my toes by a cozy wood fire!

*****************************CONTEST SOLVED*********************************

Well, it seems we have some very sharp movie buffs out there as we have our winners! They are: Beth, Kyle and Macs. (There are 3 winners because two of them arrived in my in-box at the same time so to be fair I’ll send them each a book.)

Others that were kind enough to enter (and did correctly guess the right answer) were: Fred, Michael, David, Howard and Scott! (And, I’m sure more will be in my in box next time I check.) Thanks to all.  And thanks for visiting our Mustard and Boloney diner for all your comedic calories for the day.

And yes, the film is ‘Citizen Kane’ (a favourite). Only in our version it’s ‘Citizen Crane’. Ha!

And a special thanks again to Dan Piraro (Bizarro) for mentioning us on his blog. He also guessed the right answer to our contest but he already has a book – as he is the one who wrote the forward to it! (he is also a great movie buff like me.)

*****************************BONUS*********************************************Note: I am still received correct answers to the contest and that is so great to know how many of you are into classic films. As an extra bonus for those of you that purchase a book (through Paypal) from our site, I will personally hand-sign your copy. I’ll even do it in black ink…of course!

Mustard and Boloney Go To The Movies Contest Has Their Winners! (see below)

color_0052_sam

Fade In.

Movies have always been a passion of mine. From as far back as I can remember I’ve always enjoyed them. So much so in fact, that when I went to university I majored in Film Studies. And, as luck would have it, I won their top award for screenwriting. (one script became the basis for the full-length feature film ‘The Night Watchman’ )

So, when I started cartooning, many films, their characters, their settings and such naturally became fair game for my cinematic imagination, and Alexandre’s creative pen. Can you name the movie inspiration for the above cartoon? Even better, what year was it made and exactly who was in it? (Try not to use Google.)

 

I sent this interesting send-up of a popular franchise to Dan Piraro (Bizarro) for his opinion – and he loved it!

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Here’s an odd twist on a famous scene from the movie ‘Ben Hur’. (Charlton Heston would be proud. Bring on the chariot race!) This 1959 film was directed by one of my favourite directors. His name? William Wyler. (his other notable works include: Dodsworth (1936), Mrs. Miniver (1942), The Heiress (1945), The Best Years Of Our Lives (1946), Roman Holiday (1953), The Collector (1965), and Funny Girl (1968).

color_0266_ben_hur

 

 

(I actually have the original movie posters for Ben Hur from the cinema display windows – when they used to do that – framed, and hanging in my office at home.)

 

color_0429_De_Nero

 

 

 

 

In keeping with the Roman times theme, I thought this was a nice twist on a classic line. Again, can you name the film?  HInt: It stars Robert DeNiro (duh)

(Actually early film stock was quite flammable so maybe that’s what started this fire. Apparently, Nero love the cinema but didn’t store the negatives properly!)

Personally, I just love black and white films. There are just so many layers to them. It’s too bad they colourize them now, because once done, it washes out the shadings and flattens the imagery. If they originated in colour, that’s okay,  but to paint it in, no. (watch any film noir picture like ‘Scarlet Street’ (1945), ‘In A Lonely Place (1950) or ‘The Big heat’ (1953) and you’ll see a prime example of how a black and white film can and should look) To see these films uncut – in their original form – check out movie station TCM (Turner Classic Movies)

***************************  CONTEST ALERT   *************************************

contest_citizen_crane

In keeping with our movie theme we here at Mustard and Boloney are offering up a free copy of our latest book ‘Butt Seriously’ to the first two people who can figure out what movie this cartoon is referring to. E-mail your answer to: info@mustardandboloney.com.  (hint: This film was made within the last 100 years. Ha!)

Good luck. And pass the buttered popcorn!

Fade Out.

Well, it seems we have some very sharp movie buffs out there as we have our winners! They are: Beth, Kyle and Macs. (There are 3 winners because two of them arrived in my in-box at the same time so to be fair I’ll send them each a book.)

Others that were kind enough to enter (and did correctly guess the right answer) were: Fred, Michael, David, Howard and Scott! (And, I’m sure more will be in my in box next time I check.) Thanks to all.  And thanks for visiting our Mustard and Boloney diner for all your comedic calories for the day.

And yes, the film is ‘Citizen Kane’ (a favourite). Only in our version it’s ‘Citizen Crane’. Ha!

And a special thanks again to Dan Piraro (Bizarro) for mentioning us on his blog today. He also guessed the right answer to our contest but he already has a book – as he is the one who wrote the forward to it! (he is also a great movie buff like I)

Oh, and someone wondered what the first cartoon (with dog) is referring to. It’s the film ‘The Maltese Falcon’ starring Humphrey Bogart. He played detective Sam Spade. (a classic).

*****************************BONUS*********************************************

Note: I am still received correct answers to the contest and that is so great to know how many of you are into classic films. As an extra bonus for those of you that purchase a book (through Paypal) from our site, I will personally hand-sign your copy. I’ll even do it in black ink…of course!

Fade out to black……