Spring training is over and Major League baseball is back in town! Now all teams begin their race to the pennant and hopefully on to the ‘World Series’. (well, it’s not actually a ‘World’ series; I don’t recall Bulgaria, Tibet, or chilly Iceland ever fielding a team; ditto for Houston)
And, whom may you ask is baseball’s greatest living fan? (zombies don’t count; they use calculators) No it’s not me (Mustard) but rather my creative partner and best friend Alexandre. (Boloney) That’s right!
During the winter months he is in extensive training as he awaits that opening day pitch. He jogs ten miles a day (although he converts it to kilometers which makes it seems even so much more impressive), pumps that iron endlessly (his shirts looks really wrinkle-free), and pours over statistics from the previous season with the eye of an accountant. He even sleeps with a glove on each hand, cupping his balls (autographed) while he sleeps!
Here he is in his Montreal Expo’s jersey. Unfortunately the Expos – like Alexandre’s hair – are long gone from Montreal. He has had to switch and become a long-distance follower of the Toronto Bluejays.
Still he treasures his beloved hometown jersey and wears it always. Who knows, maybe someday Montreal might get another team?
Maybe an owner will leave the city one is his will?
Maybe Alexandre will make so much money doing cartoons that he can afford to start his own team.
Alexandre has tried to rally others to his cause of bringing back a team to his beloved city. Unfortunately, it didn’t go very well. The optics were bad as he and thousands of other die-hard fans waved countless baseball bats as they walked the main thoroughfare demanding a team. I had to use our entire ‘Mustard and Boloney’ reserve fund to bail him out. (we didn’t have enough in the kitty to extricate the bat though)
Last summer Alexandre and his partner Sandy came to Toronto for a visit. While here, they took in several Bluejay games. They loved every minute! But again, there is that problem of optics.
While at the game Alexandre reached out to get an autograph from player Adam Lind. Mr. Lind turned only to see a man in a Montreal uniform (remember, the team doesn’t exist and hasn’t for some time) leaning over with a pad and pen in hand. And, to top it off, while Alexandre was reaching down his new toupee fell off right onto Mr. Lind’s shoulder! The player was so shaken – he even thought he had gone back in time to when the Expos were playing – that he asked to be traded. He now plays for the Milwaukee Brewers.
Thanks for visiting Toronto, Alexandre! Maybe come back in the winter and visit a Maple Leaf hockey game. With any luck you can get the entire team to leave the city!
Time now for that seventh inning stretch. Head out, grab a beer and another hotdog; one generously topped with our comedic mustard! Then settle back in and watch the season as it unfolds. Good luck Toronto. Alexandre is cheering for you all the way from Montreal.