Tag Archives: mustard

It’s All You Can Eat Day Here At Our Comedic Diner.


We here at Mustard and Boloney’s cartoon diner continually search the world over looking for tasty dishes to introduce to you, our dear devoted patrons. Our criteria for this exotic food is a simple one: it must be low in calories, high in protein, and guaranteed to fill the stomach sans indigestion.  And, as Alexandre is from Quebec (and speaks fluent French) and I from Ontario (and speak fluent Ontarian) then it’s great to offer up something in at least two languages!

As mentioned we try to limit our use of calorie-laden carbohydrates for those watching their waste-lines. And for those eschewing meat our vegetarian dishes are to just die for! (I, Mustard am a vegetarian whereas Boloney, is not)

Alexandre (Boloney) thinks I am a little crazy for giving up meat and I think he’s a little odd being named after a popular luncheon meat. (though the spelling is different) What were his parents thinking anyway?

Maybe they foresaw that in the future he would team up with a Mustard-loving writer; one who would make sure their son would at least eat his vegetables along with all that meat. I mean without me he wouldn’t have broccoli and legume gas!!  (thank heavens he lives over 500 kilometers away in another city)

At our diner we use only the finest in state-of-the art cookware too. No half-measures and  no teflon-coated pans used here. (a watched pot never boils and our friend here is making sure that’s true; no wonder he needs help)

And, we use only the finest seasonings known to man (and a few that are not) to spice up ourcolor_0343_rack signature dishes. (yes, we sign our name onto every dish that leaves our gourmet kitchen).

We do this because when people say ‘bite me’ to us we quickly reply that they already have.

As you can plainly see Alexandre doesn’t require the use of a hair net. (This came about after his barber ate at our diner but couldn’t afford to pay the bill, complaining about getting scalped). Alexandre decided to get ‘free’ haircuts for a year as opposed to making the poor fellow do the dishes. So now Boloneythe only thing that Alexandre drops into what he cooks is humorous anecdotes. (that’s why people leave our restaurant smiling, happy, and loaded with laughing gas.)






Well, the lunch crowd is making their way into our diner so I have to go and make some French fries. (the old-fashioned way). It seems that’s one of our most popular side-dishes! (we do bake not fry them as to be calorie conscious.)

Remember, the meat of our offerings is humor, complemented by a side order of irreverence, and all manner of situations and subjects. We are happy to create the delicious ‘aha’ moment with every meal. Thinking outside the icebox is mandatory in this diner, and some dishes may cause you to stand on your head and think, “So that’s what it all going to cost. They’re panels are very affordable indeed!”

Bon appetite!

Our Butts May Be Cold But Our Book Is So Warm. Seriously!

Boloney (Alexandre Rouillard) and I (Jeffrey Caulfield) live in Canada where the winters can be a touch cold; very cold indeed! It doesn’t bother us much as we are used to it but our new book ‘Butt Seriously‘ can’t take the chill. So, it’s decided to visit a much warmer climate for a couple of months until the spring returns.

(the guy on the left is not dressed too warm for the cold either. His cheeks are so frosty!)

Our good friend Kathy and her husband took pity on our chilly book so they decided to take it on a grand tour of the American book travels 2south west. Here it is on the back of their RV (it’s hard to make out but those are Arizona license plates.)

I think Kathy was having a bit too much Tequila when she took this out-of-focus picture. Our book looks a bit blurry-eyed as well.

But, our Butt’s (Seriously) book is at least nice and warm. It’s good to see it out enjoying itself on the open road, with the wind rustling through it’s pages as the scenery flies past. Who knows, someone may spot it and want a copy of their own.

(get your copy here)

I do hope if it does fall off the back of their vehicle that it doesn’t land too hard and sit neglected on the interstate.

color_0047_taste_funnyIf it does I can only hope these two characters will scoop it up and take it under their protective wing, as they appear to like good humour.

And our book, ‘Butt Seriously’ is definitely that!

Actually, Dan Piraro (creator of Bizarro) was kind enough to write the forward to our humorous tome.  (While out on his porch one day he happened to see it fly off of the back of an RV -a different trip – and land in his front yard.) Upon reading it he immediately felt the need to comment on its contents. He states, “The real art of cartooning is to create a compelling illustration that facilitates a compelling gag. Caulfield and Rouillard are the most color_0343_rackshining example of this unique combination I have seen in some time.”

Thanks Dan! (and we’re so glad our book didn’t bounce of off your well-manicured lawn and break a window).

If it did you might have had us put ‘on the rack’.

Of course by doing that would have only meant that our humour would be stretched that much further, and less cartoons would have been needed to be placed into the book. Ha!

book travel to Arizona

As I write this it is snowy and cold outside. But inside I feel warm all over knowing our book is getting a tan on a tablecloth of stars! (plus writing this while sitting in my infrared sauna helps me feel toasty too.) Thanks Kathy!!

So, why not get your own copy of our book ‘Butt Seriously‘ and take it out for a little trip? If you do make sure it’s buckled in good and tight.

And, if camping or hiking our book comes in very handy. You can eat a page a day for that  much-needed humour (and roughage), or use a page a day for un-needed ah, well, you know?

Butt Seriously!!!!!

(get your copy here now)










Mustard And Boloney T-Shirts Now Available. Seriously.



Good news for all of you comedic lovers out there who wear clothes (and for the ones that don’t we can tattoo the design right onto your chest). Mustard and Boloney now has t-shirts available for sale. That’s right!

These all white mens and women’s t-shirts come in sizes ranging from small to extra, extra-large. And the design is definitely one that will surely attract attention. (especially for all those nudists if it is tattooed onto their chest)

The design is the Statue of Liberty’s aromatic underarm; one about to be wiped fresh with antiperspirants.  A classic!

(actually, if you check on our website here you can see an animation of this particular cartoon; one complete with sound-effects)

With Christmas slowly creeping up now is a great time to order several for friends and family. Maybe even get an extra one for old St. Nicholas. (much better than leaving cookies and milk. Imustard-and-liberty--WOMEN-TEE mean, what if Santa is lactose and gluten intolerant? What then? We can’t have poor Santa cramping and passing wind in each house he’s visiting now can we?)

There is certainly no better way to impress his reindeer – or Mrs. Claus – than to be seen wearing a Mustard and Boloney original t-shirt under his red suit.


So, order yours (and his)  – right here – today!

(Oh, and try not to spill any Mustard on it.)






Our New Book ‘Butt Seriously’, Seriously Entertains.

Our book cover

Our new book entitled, “Butt Seriously, has sold out its first run! (I have a new batch on order and they should be here within a day or so). Thanks to the many of you that have purchased, not only for yourselves but for your friends as well.

One person from Australia ordered 4 books! I hand-signed each one as I do for all copies ordered through our website. (I have yet to dab real mustard into any book but am definitely contemplating it. For now though, it’s my signature and a choice phrase).

And, what cartoons have tasted the best for our readers you may ask? Why all of them of course!  I have received e-mails and letters from people expressing their enjoyment of the book, and maybe a cartoon that stood out for them. John from California wrote (via letter), “Really enjoyed the cartoon book. Saw it on Bizarro’s (he wrote Pizarro, but I won’t tell Dan) blog and ordered it. Keep up the good work!” John didn’t say exactly what his favourite panel was so let’s assume it’s this one as it takes place in sunny California. (where one could get a little wrinkled if left out in the sun too long.)




This e-mail I received from Hiren who lives right here in Toronto, only a short drive from my own home. Hiren wrote, “From the few cartoons that I went through on your website, they were

indeed clever and right up my alley. Re: humour wise.” She then ordered a book and loved it! Thanks Hiren.

Joesphine – who also lives in Toronto – enjoyed the book immensely. One of her favourite cartoons was this one of a ‘not-so-free-willy’.

Macs from Michigan writes: “I love it! Not just the toons, but the format, colour, and –  this may be a qwerk of mine- the feel of the cover.”

And, you may ask, what is Dan Piraro’s (Bizarros) favourite cartoon? Well, he seemed to like them all, so-much-so in fact that he felt compelled to write the forward to the book. Thanks Dan for your kind words. (as a sneek peak at a cartoon from our next book, I sent this one about Harry Potter to Dan for an opinion. He loved it and this panel instantly became one of his favourites. He even commented about it on his blog.)



Now you’re probably wondering what is my personal favourite out of all of the cartoons that have been completed to date. Well, I love them all but one stands out for me. It’s actually the one on the cover of the book. (here it is without all the writing covering it.)


Now this cartoon came to me while I was standing outside a store that had an ice machine in front of it. It just ‘popped’ into my head. I immediately wrote it down and sent it to Alexandre to add his artistic genius. And he did! In my version I didn’t have the patient – that was Alexander’s idea to add him. Perfection!!!

An interesting aside to this story is that when my brother-in-law went in to have surgery to remove some cancer (successful I might add) I had this cartoon printed onto a hospital gown, and he wore it into the operating room! It gave everyone a laugh. He even wore it during his entire hospital stay and everyone on the floor came in to see it. Indeed, laughter is the best medicine no matter what these two bozos think!


So, thanks again to all who have ordered our book thus far and to those contemplating an order I say, “When hungry for humour order our book and eat a page a day. It’s also a great source of roughage as well.”

Pass the mustard.

Bon appetit.







Our Book ‘Butt Seriously’ Is On The Move Again. Seriously.




A few posts back I wrote about how a purchaser of our latest book entitled ‘ Butt Seriously’ took it and traveled all around Amsterdam taking pictures, and then sent me the photos. Well, I just received new pictures from another satisfied buyer by the name of Sandy, showing our new book travelling around Montreal in Quebec. Seriously!!


Here it is in front of their Olympic stadium. Perhaps after a breakfast of champions our humorous panels will be ready to run in the 400 meters against Usain Bolt. And, we may even

IMG_2873win as Usain will be so doubled over with laughter (at the thought of sprinting against a cartoon book) that he will be unable to run like the wind.

Gold medal win for ‘Butt Seriously’. Yes!!



Our book in this photo seems content to just gaze out over the city, basking in the warming sun. (let’s hope it has on plenty of sunblock. Don’t want the ‘Butt’ to get burned. Seriously)

Note: This is the back cover of the book. Here’s what it looks like a little bigger.



Yes, those are our caricatures. I, on the left, have been told I look like Sir Richard Branson. And, Alexandre, on the right, has been told that I look like Sir Richard Branson.

(Alexandre always wears copious amounts of sunblock on his head so as not to burn his creative brain)





Here we have an interesting photo. It looks as though our book has been pumping iron, and has bulked up considerably. It’s almost as big as that statue in the back!

Note: No banned substances or prohibited steroids were used in the making of this book.




Not all pictures of the book were taken outside.

Here, it’s quietly resting inside – after a busy day on the track – next to Sandy’s dog Ziggy.



Note: This picture must have been taken just as the book arrived and had not been read yet, because if it had been studied then Ziggy would be smiling, waging his tail, and showing us teeth of laughter.

Actually, just seeing the cover of ‘Butt Seriously’ inspired this pooch to go and immediately make a boloney sandwich.

ziggy photo with bun


One with plenty of Mustard of course!

Bon appetit.

Or, in this rare case,

Bone appetit!


Keep those photos coming!! We love to hear – and see – where our book has been. Seriously.