Tag Archives: diner

It’s All You Can Eat Day Here At Our Comedic Diner.


We here at Mustard and Boloney’s cartoon diner continually search the world over looking for tasty dishes to introduce to you, our dear devoted patrons. Our criteria for this exotic food is a simple one: it must be low in calories, high in protein, and guaranteed to fill the stomach sans indigestion.  And, as Alexandre is from Quebec (and speaks fluent French) and I from Ontario (and speak fluent Ontarian) then it’s great to offer up something in at least two languages!

As mentioned we try to limit our use of calorie-laden carbohydrates for those watching their waste-lines. And for those eschewing meat our vegetarian dishes are to just die for! (I, Mustard am a vegetarian whereas Boloney, is not)

Alexandre (Boloney) thinks I am a little crazy for giving up meat and I think he’s a little odd being named after a popular luncheon meat. (though the spelling is different) What were his parents thinking anyway?

Maybe they foresaw that in the future he would team up with a Mustard-loving writer; one who would make sure their son would at least eat his vegetables along with all that meat. I mean without me he wouldn’t have broccoli and legume gas!!  (thank heavens he lives over 500 kilometers away in another city)

At our diner we use only the finest in state-of-the art cookware too. No half-measures and  no teflon-coated pans used here. (a watched pot never boils and our friend here is making sure that’s true; no wonder he needs help)

And, we use only the finest seasonings known to man (and a few that are not) to spice up ourcolor_0343_rack signature dishes. (yes, we sign our name onto every dish that leaves our gourmet kitchen).

We do this because when people say ‘bite me’ to us we quickly reply that they already have.

As you can plainly see Alexandre doesn’t require the use of a hair net. (This came about after his barber ate at our diner but couldn’t afford to pay the bill, complaining about getting scalped). Alexandre decided to get ‘free’ haircuts for a year as opposed to making the poor fellow do the dishes. So now Boloneythe only thing that Alexandre drops into what he cooks is humorous anecdotes. (that’s why people leave our restaurant smiling, happy, and loaded with laughing gas.)






Well, the lunch crowd is making their way into our diner so I have to go and make some French fries. (the old-fashioned way). It seems that’s one of our most popular side-dishes! (we do bake not fry them as to be calorie conscious.)

Remember, the meat of our offerings is humor, complemented by a side order of irreverence, and all manner of situations and subjects. We are happy to create the delicious ‘aha’ moment with every meal. Thinking outside the icebox is mandatory in this diner, and some dishes may cause you to stand on your head and think, “So that’s what it all going to cost. They’re panels are very affordable indeed!”

Bon appetite!

Out With The Old And In With The New.

color_0298_thesaurusWell, Christmas has come and gone for another year. I hope Santa was good to you all. And, just what did I get from the Jolly one you ask? Books. Lots of books. As an avid reader I do enjoy a good book and this time I actually got an actual e-reader to read them on. Usually Santa drops down my chimney with a sack of thick books each Christmas (and on New Years eve he always checks into the Mayo clinic for a much-needed hernia operation) but this time my texts are all virtual! The big guy was so pleased because now he can ring in the New Year just like the rest of us, instead of from a hospital bed wondering when that enima he took (pre-operation) is going to kick in. I am happy as well as now I won’t have to walk around like Quasimodo from the weight of having to carry so many hardcovers around. (I never knew I was actually 6 feet tall until just now)color_0231_hike


So, what will you be doing on the night of the 31st? Perhaps going out for a drink with friends? Or maybe your heading out trying to make new friends? Either way you are out on the town hopefully having more fun than a barrel full of monkeys! (for some reason it has to be a barrel; they’re simply no fun in a cardboard box)


You may even be in the mood to dance. When Kong here dances everyone dances because if you don’t you’ll end up as his toe jam. King is surprisingly light on his feet – all four of them – and has danced with the best (beast?) of them: Rodan, Godzilla, Monthra, Gamera and even a giant leech, just to name a few.

Fay Wray was his initial dance partner but his two-step meant she had to do 95 steps which proved too overwhelming so she retired. 

If you do plan on heading out on the town then please drink responsibly.

Make sure you have cab fare and no where you live (sew it into your underwear if necessary; your address not the money)

But, what’s a person to do if one finds themselves like our friend here, naked and exposed? (maybe a henna tattoo of your address on your chest might help).

avatar_boloney_hatWell, whatever you plan to do have a great time. Alexandre Avatar_mustard_hat(Boloney) and myself (Mustard) want to wish you all the best for 2015. And, we hope you’ll keep coming back to our comedic diner for one of our signature tasty dishes; ones filled with your daily allotment of humour, irreverence and the odd pickle.

Bon Appetit !!!!