Yes, dear readers, that is I. Mustard. And yes, I am wearing a giant banana suit in my living room. Why, you ask? (So many have, from my neighbours all the way to the zoo monkey who wanted to ‘peel’ me.) To that question posed I say ‘why not!’
I mean it’s not like I look like this every day of the week. I wear it every second day of the week and all day on the weekends. Does this make me crazy? Possibly. Eccentric? Perhaps. A purveyor of potassium and electrolytes? Damn straight!
(Take notice that my cat Subira is at the bottom left corner checking me out.)
So, half the time i don’t know what she’s saying anymore, and the other half of the time I’m asleep (as it is nighttime).
Actually, the real reason we look like this is that we were recently asked out to a costume party at a neighbour’s house. We dressed to the nines and I won first prize in the dance contest! I showed the judges all my moves (on paper first) before I let loose. All I can say is they were in awe. Their mouths hung open for what seemed like an eternity. I had them eating out of my hand! Then we all swung from the chandelier. Seriously!
One judge seemed aloof and studied me very carefully. Also, he kept looking down a lot of the time, apparently making plenty of notes. Actually, it was only later that I learned he was in fact drawing something. I managed to retrieve this picture from the garbage later that night when no one was looking.
I compared this picture with one I had received from someone else while attending another party in the previous month. Are they trying to suggest something? Are they intimating I need my head examined? Or, is their message something subliminal like I should eat more nuts for the protein – as I am a vegetarian – instead of injesting so many over-ripe bananas?
I immediately phoned up Alexandre (Boloney) as he is the artistic genius behind Mustard and Boloney cartoons. I posed my dilemma. He said that can never happen – except maybe with twins – but that he himself often copies his own unique style to place into the next fresh cartoon we create. That’s what great artists do. But we never copy another person’s style. So both cartoons must be the work of just one individual.
“Interesting”, I said. “So it would seem that this cartoonist is a master of physical disguise but cannot mask his artistic tendencies. His style is like a genetic fingerprint.”
There was a lengthy silence on the phone.
Alexandre finally spoke up and added, “If you ate more bananas your vision would improve as they are a great source of Vitamin A. By doing that you would have clearly seen that these two cartoons could only be the work of the same person, and not that imaginary extra one in your head.”
An a-peeling thought. If he only knew.
This is my cat Subira (pronounced sue-beer-ah). She is a Longhair, Lynx, Bluepoint, Applehead Balinese. Now that’s a mouthful. She has Lynx markings on her head and ‘tuffed paws’; her ears, paws and tail are blue-tipped; here head is round (not like a Siamese cat’s head which is triangular; she is related to the Siamese); and her species is a Balinese. Whew!!! She is also hypo-allergenic.
And, of course those lovely blue eyes are to just die for.
Also, this is her birthday week! She’ll turn four years old on April 28th. I have events planned for her every day. It’s party time!!
Anyway, we stayed until closing time then headed home.
Outside, she got a little woosy and had to lie down a minute. I snapped this photo and tweeted it.
Here she is the next day still sleeping it off in my clothes box.
I didn’t want to disturb her to get my clothes so I went around for the entire day sans pants.
Good thing I work at home. (good thing my underwear is kept in another dresser.)
Fours years old! I still can’t believe it. We got her from a breeder when she was about eight months old. Our last cat lived to be 26 (human years); so we are hoping she lives to be at least twice that age.
This is the very earliest picture I have of her. It was taken by the breeder when she was just
(Notice the colouring she started with.)
And, what an inquisitive mind.
(she’s probably thinking: where’s my Marge Simpson blue hair? I’m supposed to be a blue-point! Are you guys just messing with me?)
Don’t tell her but I’ve planned a surprise birthday party with dozens of guests.
And, her parents couldn’t be happier.
I’m bringing in extra play toys for the event and a dozen or so more scratch posts for those that have left their nails fashionably long.
(Note: Subira actually has never scratched up our furniture – not even once! She always uses her scratch posts. True! Well, our couch is made of cement so maybe that has a little bit to do with it.)
Also, when my partner Alexandre and I created our own press what better symbol for our printing house than a cool-looking cat! We drafted many logos and this is the one Subira fancied the most. (her tail makes an excellent bookmark)
She just loves the fact she looks like a virtual hologram. And she herself chose the colour.
Well, I’m off to shape up the guest list for the ‘event’.
I think I’ll invite all kinds of animals. Of course it will be a BYOB. (bring your own box – as in litter box.)
With this crowd it should be an interesting evening. I am so stoked!!
Happy Birthday Subira! You are the cat’s meow.
Today is the 28th. The birthday girl is ready to party!!!!
Right about now – especially for Alexandre and myself – we are of the mindset that spring should be here instead of a couple more months of bitter cold. But, as our happy friend in this cartoon remarks it’s all in how you view it. (In Canada temperatures are in Celsius; if I convert it to Fahrenheit it would be warmer) Fair enough. I still view it as winter though AND I STILL WANT IT TO BE SPRING! There’s a reason they call this time the ‘dead of winter’. Not too much to do but hunker down inside the home, try to stay warm and keep taking vitamin D.
Even my cat Subira (who I have trained to go for walks on a leash) wants to be outside. She gets a bit antsy being cooped up inside during the coldest time of year but, what’s one to do? I do get her out when the weather co-operates but if it’s bitter cold and accompanied by a meter of snow then forget it! We stay inside, sipping hot drinks and playing chess. (how one can lose to a cat needs further explanation, and I’m not going to give it. I’m mocked enough by family, friends and neighbours – even the odd dog – so let it lie.)
Although losing three weeks in a row did eventually send me out into the frostbite to have a few drinks with some old friends at a local watering hole. At least there I seemed to be the happiest of the bunch. (one guy even lost to his parakeet at blackjack.)
Later that night on my way home from the pub I did bump into these happy-go-lucky guys. They seemed good with the cold and knew how to best roll with it. They offered to hoist me up onto their shoulders for a spin but I said I don’t monkey around after having a few drinks, and declined. They took it in stride and didn’t go totally ‘apeshit’ all over me.
Once back home I went to bed and dreamed of the approaching winter’s thaw. Next morning I awoke only to be surrounded by water! It seems Subira had poked a few holes in my water bed during the night and I had sprung a leak! (that’s my story and I’m sticking with it.)
Spring will be here soon enough and Subira and I will walk the streets again, basking in the heat. But in the meantime I’m thinking of taking a few on-line courses to ‘up my game’ so as not to keep losing to her.
Maybe I need to change games to , say, go fish. No, I have a hunch she’d be good at that too.
There’s obviously no denying we live in a visual world. The eyes absorb all everywhere you look. But, what of our other senses? What are they taking in? Are they being utilized to their fullest? (the other senses being: hearing, smell, taste and touch)
Our potato friend here clearly has needs but is anyone in his immediate vicinity really listening? (that fellow bottom left looks like he’s reading on an i-pad) Maybe if Mr. Head flashed a giant banner or had dancing French fries behind him he would garnish more attention. As it is, he’s virtually invisible.
Most humans strictly rely on their sight – first and foremost – for just about everything, whereas a dog, for example, interprets the world predominantly by sense of smell. Can you imagine relying just on your nose to understand the world around you? A dog’s sense of smell can be as much as 10,000,000 times more sensitive than us human’s. Whoa! (maybe that’s why we – as a species – started showering daily. Poor Fido couldn’t stand us!)
And, just when was the last time you could smell a friend approaching from six blocks away?
Also, what of hearing? I SAID WHAT OF HEARING! Good, now that I’ve got you listening try and imagine living in a world without your eyes for a moment.
I used to work in radio as a producer and ones sense of hearing becomes greatly attuned to the job at hand. They become your eyes. An orchestra conductor, for example, knows when someone isn’t playing a piece properly, not by sight – as that violinist he’s looking at could be going through the right movements – but rather by sound (the hearing -or not hearing – of the correct notes.)
Our poor tree would then feel like a sap (ling) wouldn’t he?
I always find it interesting to watch how my cat approaches something new. (be it food or a toy for example) She first sees it – true – but then cautiously moves in for a sniff and then a light touch with her paw. If it’s food she’ll then taste it. If it makes a sudden sound she’ll jump sky high! She rolls through all her senses before deeming things okay. She doesn’t just trust her eyes. (this is her checking out a water bottle while undoing a knot – such talent! Houdini would be proud).
So, take a moment and go outside without your cell phone, family, friends, clothes or even your pet. Then simply close your eyes and listen. Let all your other senses bring in the world to you. Listen for sounds. Smell the air. Feel the breeze embrace you. If it’s snowing stick out your tongue and taste a snowflake. Or try this: take a single strawberry for example. Study it with your eyes then roll it between you fingers. Listen to the sound it makes when you rub it. Then bring it close and give it a good sniff before popping it into your mouth. It’s quite an amazing concept really and one we tend to overlook.
Most of us are always in a hurry. We see the strawberry, pop it in and gone. It looked good but…….
Savour the moment (s) before it’s gone.
Hey, I just had a great idea: I think I’ll make my next post a ‘scratch ‘n’ sniff’ one. I’m so on it!
This is my cat Subira (pronounced sue-beer-ah). She is a Lynx Bluepoint Applehead Balinese. Now that’s a mouthful. She has Lynx markings on her head and ‘tuffed paws’; her ears, paws and tail are blue-tipped; here head is round (not like a Siamese cat’s head which is triangular; she is related to the Siamese); and her species is a Balinese. Whew!!!
And, of course those lovely blue eyes are to die for.
And, she is extremely vocal when she has something to say (much like a Siamese), especially when it comes to Mustard and Boloney cartoons. She is there from inception, to creation, to polishing, and finally to print. If something isn’t working I hear about it.
Here’s one she particularly liked and posted it immediately onto her Instagram account.
(her comment was, “He’d be a much happier cat if he’d only read ‘Mustard and Boloney’ cartoons on a daily basis. Plus some prune juice wouldn’t hurt to help dislodge those nasty fur balls)
An early comment on this peculiar one was, “Why am I barking?” I said, “because you’re crackers.” She stared up at me then started meowing. (this went on for 2 days) I relented and gave her the full explanation. (I even showed her a box of animal crackers as part of my presentation) She still didn’t buy it and continued meowing for another 3 days! I said, ” Okay, you’re barking because the monkey swinging on the fan is a ventriloquist and he’s throwing his voice.”
She thought long and hard before finally saying, “Mmnn, I like it. Clever.”
We then needed a publisher. I approached many but their rosters were filled with other fine books for the next year or two. So, not wanting to wait, my partner Alexandre and I created our own press, and published the book ourselves.
And, what better symbol for our printing house than a dog barking cat! We drafted many logos and this is the one Subira fancied the most. (her tail makes an excellent bookmark)
She just loves the fact she looks like a virtual hologram.
Sales have been going very well (thanks to all who have purchased so far) and Subira is quite pleased.
Well. I’m off to create another cartoon. As you can see our publisher, editor, proof-reader, mentor and best friend sits quietly, waiting for the next punch line.
Here’s hoping it’ll be a good one.
But just in case my earplugs are at the ready.