Tag Archives: clowns
Got Back To School Blues? Try Purple Instead!
Leave a reply
Well, for most everyone I know that has children, this week will indeed be a hectic one. Why? Well, back to school of course! Gone are the days of loafing in the park staring up at the clouds, or taking in an extra inning ballgame. Now, they’ll be lunches to prepare, supplies to be bought, clothes to be checked for fit and fashion, and for the wee ones, a little extra reassurance that the school they have yet to attend will not swallow them up, and they will indeed safely return home later that same day.
When I was a child I often felt a bit awkward in school because of our families past. It made making friends difficult and I was never allowed anyone over to the house.
But, I still always enjoyed school. When talk of college came up (and which new town we needed to move on to) my parents were very liberal, and decided no ordinary college was right for me.
They assumed, mistakenly, that a B Sc (Bachelor of Studying Clowns) would lead to a very prominent job, as those initials were written into all the want adds of the time as a requirement.
So, off I went – in face paint and baggy pants – and happily completed the highly prestigious 3 year program in just under 7 years!. I graduated ‘Magnum Cum Louder’ as my clothes were outrageously gregarious, my voice loud , and the hair shockingly….purple!!!!
I definitely stood out (at least that’s what the first 95 employers that interviewed me said).
Some told me my skills were outdated (court jesters faded out centuries ago one implied), while others suggested my degree wasn’t worth the macaroni it was printed on.
So, I went back to school to upgrade and perhaps learn a second language. I was the only one to graduate this class because I ended up eating all of the other students. They went well with my burger.
Upon graduation – again – I still had no luck in finding work. It seems no on wanted a bilingual clown. (at least not outside our Canadian Federal government)
So, shifting gears, I entered automotive college but was expelled (driven out?) as every time we crashed into the wall I left face paint on the windshield that took forever to wash off. Also, they said that my baggy pants acted way too much like a natural airbag and defeated the purposes of many of their tests. (They should have mentioned all of the this before I had gotten those weird symbols tattooed on both sides of my head.)
A fellow classmate instagrammed me this photo of their graduation. Wish I was there.
So, what was a comedic person with numerous degrees to do? Well, I was fortunate enough to bump into another like-minded, and heavily degree,tattoo laiden clown by the name of Alexandre Rouillard.
(see ‘Our story’)
Together, we decided to open this virtual diner; one stocked with fresh jokes, tasty asides, and generous portions. We offer an interesting asylum to experience the usual events of life, unusually.
Bon appetit!
Mustard And Boloney Create A Timeless Classic (So They Say)
When a buzzard’s stomach growls for food it eats. When thirsty, it drinks. When it wants to view rotting, rancid television it watches ‘Fox’ news.
But, what’s a bird to do when hungry for humour? Well, our friend could eat a dead clown but one must be careful as eating too much of a decaying comedic carcass can lead to explosive laughing gas, the kind accompanied by the potent whiff of unwashed socks; ones mixed with the pungent stand-up humour of Michael Richards.
No, I feel that for all ones gourmet needs, the buzzard – and those people that just think they’re buzzards – need look no further than our new book entitled: ‘Butt Seriously’.
The meat of ‘Butt Seriously’ is humor, complemented by a side order of irreverence, and all manner of situations and subjects are drawn upon to create the delicious – and highly nutritious – ‘aha’ moment. (I’ve eaten ‘aha’ and it especially tastes great when seasoned with curry) Thinking outside the icebox is definitely mandatory, and some panels may cause you to stand on your head and think, “So, that’s what it all means.” (by reading this blog upside-down can also lead to fresh insights. Go ahead, try it now.)
Dan Piraro, creator of Bizarro (www.bizarro.com) kindly offered to write the forward to our book.
He states, “The real art of cartooning is to create a compelling illustration that facilitates a compelling gag. Caulfield (Mustard) and Rouillard (Boloney) are the most shining example of this unique combination I have seen in some time. In a word what they’ve created here is elite.”
Thanks Dan! You made us both cry tears of joy at reading your eloquent words. (next time though, please send them to us in sentence form; it took us several days to piece it all together; kinda like piecing together a ransom note from old magazines) FYI: Bizarro’s copy of ‘Butt Seriously’ is hand-signed – in blood – of course. I say ‘of course’ as it’s perfectly normal for a cartoonist to request an unusual offering for writing a forward. (Blood is at least a step down from his initial request for our souls; shades of ‘Phantom of the Paradise’ (film from 1974)
So, when hungry for humour look no further than our latest book ‘Butt Seriously’, where every single cartoon panel is guaranteed to fill you with your daily allotment of smiles, belly-roars and well, maybe the occasional laughing gas, but at least minus the indigestion, calories, and blood-pressure inducing salt!
Order your own copy today, and maybe one extra one for your friendly neighbourhood bird or un-feathered relative.
Bon appetit!
Our New Book ‘Butt Seriously’, Seriously Entertains.
Our new book entitled, “Butt Seriously, has sold out its first run! (I have a new batch on order and they should be here within a day or so). Thanks to the many of you that have purchased, not only for yourselves but for your friends as well.
One person from Australia ordered 4 books! I hand-signed each one as I do for all copies ordered through our website. (I have yet to dab real mustard into any book but am definitely contemplating it. For now though, it’s my signature and a choice phrase).
And, what cartoons have tasted the best for our readers you may ask? Why all of them of course! I have received e-mails and letters from people expressing their enjoyment of the book, and maybe a cartoon that stood out for them. John from California wrote (via letter), “Really enjoyed the cartoon book. Saw it on Bizarro’s (he wrote Pizarro, but I won’t tell Dan) blog and ordered it. Keep up the good work!” John didn’t say exactly what his 
favourite panel was so let’s assume it’s this one as it takes place in sunny California. (where one could get a little wrinkled if left out in the sun too long.)
This e-mail I received from Hiren who lives right here in Toronto, only a short drive from my own home. Hiren wrote, “From the few cartoons that I went through on your website, they were
indeed clever and right up my alley. Re: humour wise.” She then ordered a book and loved it! Thanks Hiren.
Joesphine – who also lives in Toronto – enjoyed the book immensely. One of her favourite cartoons was this one of a ‘not-so-free-willy’.
Macs from Michigan writes: “I love it! Not just the toons, but the format, colour, and – this may be a qwerk of mine- the feel of the cover.”
And, you may ask, what is Dan Piraro’s (Bizarros) favourite cartoon? Well, he seemed to like them all, so-much-so in fact that he felt compelled to write the forward to the book. Thanks Dan for your kind words. (as a sneek peak at a cartoon from our next book, I sent this one about Harry Potter to Dan for an opinion. He loved it and this panel instantly became one of his favourites. He even commented about it on his blog.)
Now you’re probably wondering what is my personal favourite out of all of the cartoons that have been completed to date. Well, I love them all but one stands out for me. It’s actually the one on the cover of the book. (here it is without all the writing covering it.)
Now this cartoon came to me while I was standing outside a store that had an ice machine in front of it. It just ‘popped’ into my head. I immediately wrote it down and sent it to Alexandre to add his artistic genius. And he did! In my version I didn’t have the patient – that was Alexander’s idea to add him. Perfection!!!
An interesting aside to this story is that when my brother-in-law went in to have surgery to remove some cancer (successful I might add) I had this cartoon printed onto a hospital gown, and he wore it into the operating room! It gave everyone a laugh. He even wore it during his entire hospital stay and everyone on the floor came in to see
it. Indeed, laughter is the best medicine no matter what these two bozos think!
So, thanks again to all who have ordered our book thus far and to those contemplating an order I say, “When hungry for humour order our book and eat a page a day. It’s also a great source of roughage as well.”
Pass the mustard.
Bon appetit.