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Alexandre and I are extremely proud and excited to have sold an astounding amount of copies of our new book ‘Butt, Seriously’. I have to use all my toes and fingers plus some of Alexandre’s to count that high.
To all of you who bought we give a heartfelt thanks. And, to those that haven’t yet managed to snag a copy we say: Why not? Is a heartfelt thanks not enough? Do you require a kidney too?
Or, are you secretly waiting for the deal of the century?
Well, here it is! Out in the open. THE DEAL OF THE CENTURY!
For a limited time we’re prepared to offer this fabulous deal: Buy one book at the regular price and get an additional copy for only 5 bucks more! You heard – or rather read – that right. You can now get two copies of this humorous tome for only $25. (shipping, handling and taxes included.)
I will also personally hand-sign each and every copy of this collectors item, which contains over 100 of our classic cartoons, and all in full eye-popping colour.
WOW! I say WOW again. Never before has such an offer been written by me and in this blog.
I repeat (especially after Chili night at our house) : Get two copies of our new book ‘Butt Seriously‘ for the unheard of price of only $25 dollars. Hey, I’ll even – as this cartoon suggests – throw in a cruise to further sweeten the deal, so long as you pay for the cruise/airfare and all the taxes yourself.
So, get you own copy of the book that Dan Piraro – creator of Bizarro – has been raving about RIGHT HERE by clicking with your mouse thingy. Butt seriously!
Yes, dear readers, that is I. Mustard. And yes, I am wearing a giant banana suit in my living room. Why, you ask? (So many have, from my neighbours all the way to the zoo monkey who wanted to ‘peel’ me.) To that question posed I say ‘why not!’
I mean it’s not like I look like this every day of the week. I wear it every second day of the week and all day on the weekends. Does this make me crazy? Possibly. Eccentric? Perhaps. A purveyor of potassium and electrolytes? Damn straight!
(Take notice that my cat Subira is at the bottom left corner checking me out.)
If you find this a little unusual here is a picture of my wife and I. She goes around dressed like Pancho Villa a good bit of the time now. And, she’s even studying Spanish! Oh, no!
So, half the time i don’t know what she’s saying anymore, and the other half of the time I’m asleep (as it is nighttime).
Actually, the real reason we look like this is that we were recently asked out to a costume party at a neighbour’s house. We dressed to the nines and I won first prize in the dance contest! I showed the judges all my moves (on paper first) before I let loose. All I can say is they were in awe. Their mouths hung open for what seemed like an eternity. I had them eating out of my hand! Then we all swung from the chandelier. Seriously!
One judge seemed aloof and studied me very carefully. Also, he kept looking down a lot of the time, apparently making plenty of notes. Actually, it was only later that I learned he was in fact drawing something. I managed to retrieve this picture from the garbage later that night when no one was looking.
I compared this picture with one I had received from someone else while attending another party in the previous month. Are they trying to suggest something? Are they intimating I need my head examined? Or, is their message something subliminal like I should eat more nuts for the protein – as I am a vegetarian – instead of injesting so many over-ripe bananas?
Notice that the artistry is unmistakably the same! Yet they were given to me by two different people. Am I crazy or is that even possible? Can two distinct people have the exact same drawing style?
I immediately phoned up Alexandre (Boloney) as he is the artistic genius behind Mustard and Boloney cartoons. I posed my dilemma. He said that can never happen – except maybe with twins – but that he himself often copies his own unique style to place into the next fresh cartoon we create. That’s what great artists do. But we never copy another person’s style. So both cartoons must be the work of just one individual.
“Interesting”, I said. “So it would seem that this cartoonist is a master of physical disguise but cannot mask his artistic tendencies. His style is like a genetic fingerprint.”
There was a lengthy silence on the phone.
Alexandre finally spoke up and added, “If you ate more bananas your vision would improve as they are a great source of Vitamin A. By doing that you would have clearly seen that these two cartoons could only be the work of the same person, and not that imaginary extra one in your head.”
An a-peeling thought. If he only knew.
Bon Appetit!
This is my cat Subira (pronounced sue-beer-ah). She is a Longhair, Lynx, Bluepoint, Applehead Balinese. Now that’s a mouthful. She has Lynx markings on her head and ‘tuffed paws’; her ears, paws and tail are blue-tipped; here head is round (not like a Siamese cat’s head which is triangular; she is related to the Siamese); and her species is a Balinese. Whew!!! She is also hypo-allergenic.
And, of course those lovely blue eyes are to just die for.
Also, this is her birthday week! She’ll turn four years old on April 28th. I have events planned for her every day. It’s party time!!
For example, I had her out last night for a wee drink at a local watering hole. (this establishment doesn’t mind cats; the owner’s a cougar herself)
Anyway, we stayed until closing time then headed home.
Outside, she got a little woosy and had to lie down a minute. I snapped this photo and tweeted it.
Here she is the next day still sleeping it off in my clothes box.
I didn’t want to disturb her to get my clothes so I went around for the entire day sans pants.
Good thing I work at home. (good thing my underwear is kept in another dresser.)
Fours years old! I still can’t believe it. We got her from a breeder when she was about eight months old. Our last cat lived to be 26 (human years); so we are hoping she lives to be at least twice that age.
This is the very earliest picture I have of her. It was taken by the breeder when she was just
(Notice the colouring she started with.)
And, what an inquisitive mind.
(she’s probably thinking: where’s my Marge Simpson blue hair? I’m supposed to be a blue-point! Are you guys just messing with me?)
Don’t tell her but I’ve planned a surprise birthday party with dozens of guests.
And, her parents couldn’t be happier.
I’m bringing in extra play toys for the event and a dozen or so more scratch posts for those that have left their nails fashionably long.
(Note: Subira actually has never scratched up our furniture – not even once! She always uses her scratch posts. True! Well, our couch is made of cement so maybe that has a little bit to do with it.)
Also, when my partner Alexandre and I created our own press what better symbol for our printing house than a cool-looking cat! We drafted many logos and this is the one Subira fancied the most. (her tail makes an excellent bookmark)
She just loves the fact she looks like a virtual hologram. And she herself chose the colour.
Well, I’m off to shape up the guest list for the ‘event’.
I think I’ll invite all kinds of animals. Of course it will be a BYOB. (bring your own box – as in litter box.)
With this crowd it should be an interesting evening. I am so stoked!!
Happy Birthday Subira! You are the cat’s meow.
Today is the 28th. The birthday girl is ready to party!!!!
Sales of our new cartoon book entitled: ‘Butt Seriously’ have been going very well, and I’d like to thank all who have purchased thus far. And for those that haven’t yet managed to order a copy I say, why wait? Life’s too short not to have a good laugh. Comedy lifts the spirit, eases the tension and generally improves ones mood. (to keep me happy, as I write this my cat (Subira) is under the desk tickling my bare feet with a feather.)
Why wait until you’re on the other side to be happy, upbeat and brimming with life!
If you can’t stand the heat then for heavens sakes, sit.
(and read our book)
If the rat race is getting to you then I say stop wearing pants made of marble cheese.
(and read our book)
If the grass seems greener on the other side of the fence then buy both those houses and tear down that fence!
(and then read our book on two porches, which translates into two sales for me)
Sure, there are many situations in life that can get you down. Things like: your girl friend leaving you; you’re dog getting run over; Netflix raising their prices; Kim Kardashian doing Shakespeare in the park or a plague of locusts raining down upon you and your loved ones. (actually, I would infinitely prefer the plaque over Kim’s recitation of the immortal ‘Bard’s’ words.)
Remember, when life hands you lemons you’re supposed to make lemonade, right? (or take up juggling.)
So get up off of that couch, throw open your windows and yell, “Who wants to buy some fresh hand-squeezed lemonade?” at the top of your lungs. Get it out there!!
Then quietly listen. If you hear police sirens approaching then you might have slightly overdid it a bit. If you hear neighbours yelling numerous obscenities at you simply remind them that you had nothing better to do at three in the morning anyway so why not make a tart drink for all?
But, if you hear that dreaded ambulance siren off in the distance inching ever closer then, well, you might want to pack an overnight bag (one containing a copy of our book ‘Butt Seriously’ of course) and your lawyer’s phone number.
So remember, laughter is the best medicine for what ails you. Simply get a copy of our book and when hungry for humour eat a page – or two – from it a day. I’ve also been told it’s a great source of much needed roughage as well. (better than bran.)
By doing so you’ll soon find yourself out in the forest serenading all your friends with a tune or two.
(and isn’t that definitely better than singing the blues alone, drinking lemonade?)
Bon appetit!
(get your copy of our book here; I hand-sign every copy ordered!)
When a buzzard’s stomach growls for food it eats. When thirsty, it drinks. When it wants to view rotting, rancid television it watches ‘Fox’ news.
But, what’s a bird to do when hungry for humour? Well, our friend could eat a dead clown but one must be careful as eating too much of a decaying comedic carcass can lead to explosive laughing gas, the kind accompanied by the potent whiff of unwashed socks; ones mixed with the pungent stand-up humour of Michael Richards.
No, I feel that for all ones gourmet needs, the buzzard – and those people that just think they’re buzzards – need look no further than our new book entitled: ‘Butt Seriously’.
The meat of ‘Butt Seriously’ is humor, complemented by a side order of irreverence, and all manner of situations and subjects are drawn upon to create the delicious – and highly nutritious – ‘aha’ moment. (I’ve eaten ‘aha’ and it especially tastes great when seasoned with curry) Thinking outside the icebox is definitely mandatory, and some panels may cause you to stand on your head and think, “So, that’s what it all means.” (by reading this blog upside-down can also lead to fresh insights. Go ahead, try it now.)
Dan Piraro, creator of Bizarro (www.bizarro.com) kindly offered to write the forward to our book.
He states, “The real art of cartooning is to create a compelling illustration that facilitates a compelling gag. Caulfield (Mustard) and Rouillard (Boloney) are the most shining example of this unique combination I have seen in some time. In a word what they’ve created here is elite.”
Thanks Dan! You made us both cry tears of joy at reading your eloquent words. (next time though, please send them to us in sentence form; it took us several days to piece it all together; kinda like piecing together a ransom note from old magazines) FYI: Bizarro’s copy of ‘Butt Seriously’ is hand-signed – in blood – of course. I say ‘of course’ as it’s perfectly normal for a cartoonist to request an unusual offering for writing a forward. (Blood is at least a step down from his initial request for our souls; shades of ‘Phantom of the Paradise’ (film from 1974)
So, when hungry for humour look no further than our latest book ‘Butt Seriously’, where every single cartoon panel is guaranteed to fill you with your daily allotment of smiles, belly-roars and well, maybe the occasional laughing gas, but at least minus the indigestion, calories, and blood-pressure inducing salt!
Order your own copy today, and maybe one extra one for your friendly neighbourhood bird or un-feathered relative.
Bon appetit!