Tag Archives: age

Mustard and Boloney Make Amends. But Seriously!

color_0154_fowl_moodWell, dear readers, you’ll recall that in last weeks post I talked about my granddaughter Maisy, and how she just loved reading Mustard and Boloney’s latest book entitled: ‘Butt Seriously’. She loved it so much! In fact she’s ordered several more copies for friends at her day school. But, there was one thing that displeased her in that post. It was the line in which I referred to both of us needing to change our diapers before gazing at more cartoons. I wrote it as a sort of tongue-in-cheek bit of fun (me old; she young) but, well, she was not amused.


April 2014 211 (1)


She called me up and mentioned that as she is now three she hasn’t in fact worn diapers in a very long time. I explained my reasoning and that our fans loved the post. Silence crept through the phone. “I appreciate your humour Grandpa and although witty – I too smiled for a moment –  it was not entirely accurate as to my current bathroom needs.” (are we talking about what I think we’re talking about?) “Oh. ah, what can I do to make it up to you,” I asked. Silence again then, “I’ll think on it, but keep an eye on your inbox”. Then the phone went dead. I immediately went out and meditated trying to remain calm. (Breathe Mustard. Breathe.)

issac maisey and gemmaUpon returning home later – and feeling a touch more relaxed – I found this in my in box with a note saying, “Here is a picture of myself, my older brother (Isaac) and my younger sister (Gemma). As you can clearly see Gemma is the one needing diapers. If you could post this I would appreciate it”

Whew! Post a picture? I can do that. (I was worried she’d cancel her order for our books and maybe demand a kidney.)

I waited a day or so before calling her up to say that I had received the family picture, and it will definitely appear in my next post. Silence.  Uh-oh, My heart skipped a beat. “Did you not open the other attachment to my message?” “Ah, no”, I sheepishly replied. More silence then “Just kidding gramps! Ha!! I had you going there, huh?” (She’ll never know just how close I came to using my home defibrillator.)

“I love you Maisy. You’re my special wee girl.” Silence again. (Thank heavens I didn’t power down the unit.) “Ah, gramps, are you talking about me having to wee wee again.”




“Heavens no,” I replied,

“it’s a Scottish term (as I am Scottish) that my mom used to use in place of the word ‘little’. You’re my special little granddaughter.”

“I’ll call you back, but first I need to check something in the dictionary.” With that, she hung up.

I instantly called my analyst to see is he could fit me in right away. (I should probably put him on speed dial.) I booked several hours for the following day.

Being a grandparent certainly keeps one on their toes. Uh, oh, is that my cell phone I hear April 2014 213ringing…………

(get your own copy of ‘Butt Seriously’ right here)




A Year Older, But Wiser?


Well dear readers, this week is an interesting one because as I look at the calender I notice that it’s my (insert age here) birthday week. And just like our aging planet Earth (over 4.5 billion years and counting) I too am starting to feel a bit rusty in spots, a touch weak in the eyes, and no longer can I digest 12 corn chili dogs in one sitting. (and we won’t even discuss my hair loss although compared to Alexandre I think I’m doing pretty good.)



(I’m on the left; Alexandre is on the right)




At my (insert age here) stage of life perhaps I should book an appointment with my family doctor andcolor_0132_heavy_metals get a complete physical. You know, check under the hood, so to speak.



(As a kid I did happen to swallow some loose change once that I found under a couch pillow, and as of yet it has not been accounted for)




But, that’s not for a lack of effort on my part. Maybe too much effort in fact.













Actually, I’ll probably need all that loose change  – and more – as retirement looms somewhere over a distant horizon. (perhaps I should start swallowing a dollar a day now and with any luck – and allot of compound interest – I might just be okay)

Only drawback to that is weight gain. (I’ll just tell people I’m banking on my future and that once I’m retired then watch out for rapid weight loss!)

Fortunately, I pleased to report, I still have my funny bone (now where did I put that thing – oh

there it is holding up my open window), and along with Alexandre’s fabulous artistry, we will continue to hopefully bring a smile to your face, and put a song in your heart. (actually for that last part I’d need to get Katy Perry to assist as neither Alexandre nor I can hold a tune.)

And, I guess I should start doing more Sudokos to keep that brain in tip-top shape. (now where did I leave that thing again?)

Laughter is indeed the best medicine no matter what a couple of clowns like Alexandre and I say. (I’m the clown on the left of course as he has more hair)color_0335_headstone

I plan on laughing right up until the end (unless it happens when I’m in a movie theatre watching an Adam Sandler picture then I’ll be definitely going out crying).


On my tombstone they should write something like, “Here lies Mustard. He never could tell the truth.”

Now, I’m off for chocolate cake (let’s hope it’s a money cake) and vanilla ice cream with sprinkles!

Bon Appetit.