Category Archives: music

Out With The Old And In With The New.

color_0298_thesaurusWell, Christmas has come and gone for another year. I hope Santa was good to you all. And, just what did I get from the Jolly one you ask? Books. Lots of books. As an avid reader I do enjoy a good book and this time I actually got an actual e-reader to read them on. Usually Santa drops down my chimney with a sack of thick books each Christmas (and on New Years eve he always checks into the Mayo clinic for a much-needed hernia operation) but this time my texts are all virtual! The big guy was so pleased because now he can ring in the New Year just like the rest of us, instead of from a hospital bed wondering when that enima he took (pre-operation) is going to kick in. I am happy as well as now I won’t have to walk around like Quasimodo from the weight of having to carry so many hardcovers around. (I never knew I was actually 6 feet tall until just now)color_0231_hike


So, what will you be doing on the night of the 31st? Perhaps going out for a drink with friends? Or maybe your heading out trying to make new friends? Either way you are out on the town hopefully having more fun than a barrel full of monkeys! (for some reason it has to be a barrel; they’re simply no fun in a cardboard box)


You may even be in the mood to dance. When Kong here dances everyone dances because if you don’t you’ll end up as his toe jam. King is surprisingly light on his feet – all four of them – and has danced with the best (beast?) of them: Rodan, Godzilla, Monthra, Gamera and even a giant leech, just to name a few.

Fay Wray was his initial dance partner but his two-step meant she had to do 95 steps which proved too overwhelming so she retired. 

If you do plan on heading out on the town then please drink responsibly.

Make sure you have cab fare and no where you live (sew it into your underwear if necessary; your address not the money)

But, what’s a person to do if one finds themselves like our friend here, naked and exposed? (maybe a henna tattoo of your address on your chest might help).

avatar_boloney_hatWell, whatever you plan to do have a great time. Alexandre Avatar_mustard_hat(Boloney) and myself (Mustard) want to wish you all the best for 2015. And, we hope you’ll keep coming back to our comedic diner for one of our signature tasty dishes; ones filled with your daily allotment of humour, irreverence and the odd pickle.

Bon Appetit !!!!







Friends, Romans, Countrymen. Lend Me Your Ears!


There’s obviously no denying we live in a visual world. The eyes absorb all everywhere you look. But, what of our other senses? What are they taking in? Are they being utilized to their fullest? (the other senses being: hearing, smell, taste and touch)

Our potato friend here clearly has needs but is anyone in his immediate vicinity really listening? (that fellow bottom left looks like he’s reading on an i-pad) Maybe if Mr. Head flashed a giant banner or had dancing French fries behind him he would garnish more attention. As it is, he’s virtually invisible.

Most humans strictly rely on their sight – first and foremost – for just about everything, whereascolor_0217_blind_dog a dog, for example,  interprets the world predominantly by sense of smell. Can you imagine relying just on your nose to understand the world around you? A dog’s sense of smell can be as much as 10,000,000 times more sensitive than us human’s. Whoa! (maybe that’s why we – as a species –  started showering daily. Poor Fido couldn’t stand us!)

And, just when was the last time you could smell a friend approaching from six blocks away?

Also, what of hearing? I SAID WHAT OF HEARING! Good, now that I’ve got you listening  try and imagine living in a world without your eyes for a moment.



I used to work in radio as a producer and ones sense of hearing becomes greatly attuned to the job at hand. They become your eyes. An orchestra conductor, for example,  knows when someone isn’t playing a piece properly, not by sight – as that violinist he’s looking at could be going through the right movements – but rather by sound (the hearing -or not hearing –  of the correct notes.)


Our woodsy friend here (hear?) needs a sympathetic and knowledgeable ear to air a certain problem. Whatcolor_0379_tree_noise if the psychiatrist was not listening but instead doing Suduko as our trunk talked?

Our poor tree would then feel like a sap (ling) wouldn’t he?

I always find it interesting to watch how my cat approaches something new. (be it food or a toy for example) She first sees it – true – but then cautiously moves in for a sniff and then a light touch with her paw. If it’s food she’ll then taste it. If it subira and bottlemakes a sudden sound she’ll jump sky high! She rolls through all her senses before deeming things okay. She doesn’t just trust her eyes. (this is her checking out a water bottle while undoing a knot – such talent! Houdini would be proud).


So, take a moment and go outside without your cell phone, family, friends, clothes or even your pet. Then simply close your eyes and listen. Let all your other senses bring in the world to you. Listen for sounds. Smell the air. Feel the breeze embrace you.  If it’s snowing stick out your tongue and taste a snowflake. Or try this: take acolor_0218_deep_see_fishing single strawberry for example. Study it with your eyes then roll it between you fingers. Listen to the sound it makes when you rub it. Then bring it close and give it a good sniff before popping it into your mouth. It’s quite an amazing concept really and one we tend to overlook.

Most of us are always in a hurry. We see the strawberry,  pop it in and gone. It looked good but…….

Savour the moment (s) before it’s gone.

Hey, I just had a great idea: I think I’ll make my next post a ‘scratch ‘n’ sniff’ one. I’m so on it!



















Which Came First. The Chicken Or The Egg?

Being a cartoonist is a lot of fun and I enjoy making people smile, roar out loud, or just plain howl at the moon with laughter. But, I am often asked which comes first: the idea (captions etc.) or the drawing? In other words which comes first: the chicken or the egg?

I like to think that all depends on the surface. If it is a downhill race then definitely the egg will come first. But, rather, if it is an uphill course or on level playing field then I’m afraid our poor egg will always be second to the swift – and possibly tasty – chicken.

All kidding aside I imagine that all depends on the cartoonist. Mustard and Boloney cartoonscolor_0131_barnyard are not just created by one individual. I (Mustard) tend to come up with the ideas, captions etc. and then type them out. Then, cartoonist extraordinaire Alexandre Rouillard (Boloney)  takes those bare bones, bits of flesh and hair, and turns them into a full-fledged up-right human. His talent for turning scant bits of verbal information into a single panel of pure gold is amazing!

At times we need a little back and forth (maybe I change the line now that I see it drawn or perhaps it needs a slight visual tweak) before you have a finished cartoon. But, not that often!!


Dan Piraro (creator of Bizarro) who wrote the forward to our latest book ‘Butt Seriously’  has this to say about Alexandre’s artistry: “The art in this book speaks for itself. It is a perfect balance or realism and exaggeration, humour and pathos, in a style that harkens back to the golden age of Playboy, but without the tits. Rouillard has mastered something that takes even the most talented cartoonists years to achieve.”

Actually, working with Alexandre involves another interesting twist: we don’t even live in the same city! He lives in Montreal and I live in Toronto. (we are about an 8 hour drive apart)

But, with modern technology that problem is easily overcome. Can you imagine if we were color_0266_ben_hurcartoonists back in the days of imperial Rome? I would create the idea then write it out with a quill pen before mailing it. Months later when it arrived at Alexandres, he would open it – laugh of course – and proceed to draw. Then he would send it back to me for possible tweaking. Then back to him for the changes. So, at that rate we would probably have done one – maybe two –  cartoons a year! The world needs our humour faster than that!! (Caesar might not have been stabbed by so many had they all had a little more humour in their lives.)

So, if you’d like a joke a day – one containing all of your comedic calories minus the salt – then look no further than our Mustard and Boloney diner. You could also purchase a copy of our latest book here and enjoy its contents over a plate of fried eggs or chicken, depending on who lost the race.

Bon appetit!

Mustard Meets Boloney. But Seriously!

BoloneyYou’ve heard me mention many times about my talented artistic friend  Alexandre Rouillard, who is the ‘Boloney’ half of Mustard and Boloney. Well, what you may not realize is that the two of us do not even live in the same city or even the same province! (we do live in the same country though) He lives in Montreal, Quebec, and I live in Toronto, Ontario. It’s not too often we get together (the drive is about 6 hours) but last week he came to Toronto forcolor_0284_oz_state_line


a weeks vacation with his partner Sandy and their small dog Ziggy. Road trip!!


I gave him specific directions on how to get to my place but he forgot them at home! Naturally because of this fact he got off the highway at the wrong exit and was hopelessly lost.




Before calling me he tried asking this nice gentleman (with the baguette) for help but was told he’d have to turn here, then there, then here again then…well. (how he drove to Paris I’ll never know. Maybe GPS really stands for ‘Going To Paris System’. Mnnnn)

Finally, I got the call and gave him new directions. (I could barely understand him though as he had he mouth full of bread and cheese)

For his arrival I had pulled out all the stops and organized a block party! It took me months to get the city to agree to it.

Surprisingly, Kong was available and eager to assist. (he had read a copy of out new book entitled, ‘Butt Seriously’ and loved it!)




Upon arrival, Alexandre’s first order of business was to attend that evenings baseball game. (he is an avid Blue Jays fan). So, I drove him and Sandy down to the stadium to enjoy.


under the clock


While he was here we went out shopping and took along our new book in the hope someone would buy a copy.

Here we are selling it under a big clock. (a crowd of two did eventually form later and oddly enough asked us the time)




We also attended the musical ‘The Book of Mormon’, which is written by Trey Parker and Matt Stone, favourite writers of Alexandre.the book

As you can clearly see I’m trying to sell the book while Alexandre is re-enacting the entire musical on the street for any and all passers bye. It took me over two hours to sell one book! (during his intermission) Many people commented favourably though on Alexandre’s magnificent singing voice while others remarked at what an adept and nimble dancer he was.

Here is a picture of Alexandre and Sandy embracing. (notice his slight resistance as she caught him just in the middle of an encore for the assembled crowd) Also included is a photo of Alexandre and my wife Terry. (she too was so taken by his street performance that she needed a tree for support to prevent her from falling over in ‘awe’)


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But, alas, all good things must come to an end and Alexandre, Sandy and Ziggy had to leave my fair city to drive back to Montreal and home!color_0273_wells

Adieu, my friends. Until we meet again Terry and I wish you well. (and our legion of fans wish you to keep drawing!)

Bon voyage!

(I realize that phrase is generally used when one is taking an ocean cruise but with Alexandre’s driving prowess over water he could just end up in Egypt.)

Here’s hoping he just makes it back home to the safety of his bathtub.