All Aboard! We Set Sail In An Hour. Seriously!

Cruising is big business; really big business. In fact two of the largest cruise ships in the world (Allure of the Seas and Oasis of the Seas) hold a staggering 6,296 people each! (not including crew) That means, for example, that the entire town of Pauls Valley in Oklahoma (population 6,187) can rent the entire boat and cruise the Caribbean all by themselves. (of course by doing this they would have to bring in outsiders to watch their pets.) If you have never been on a cruise I would whole-heartedly recommend it. Just be careful as to the cruise line you choose. My wife and I somewhat enjoyed our cruising experience several years ago but if we had to do it over again we would choose a more ‘established’ line; one that actually included meals and the mandatory rest-periods per hour as required by international law. Still it was nice having the salt-water spray in your face (to revive you once you passed out) and the nice ocean breezes blowing through your tattered rags. And wifi….forget it! (although they did have a guy come in at night and do shadow puppets on the wall for entertainment; or maybe it was a woman, I’m not sure. This person was always introduced as ‘Ben-Her’).

I imagine cruises in the olden days were a bit more of an adventure. No swimming pools, no saunas, no staff, no massages, no chocolates left under your pillow at night, and definitely no ‘live’ entertainment! Sometimes you probably didn’t even know where you’d end up, just going where the wind might take you.

Back then – as now – you did have to be careful about pirates coming on board, stealing your valuables, and maybe even taking you to a place you really, really  don’tcolor_0271_pirate want to go (i.e. Stephen Harper’s house or an Adam Sandler film retrospective; both so not funny)

When it comes to cruises timing is essential. If you are late they do not wait. The ship sails without you. Also, if your luggage doesn’t arrive it leaves the harbour without them. (this actually happened to us on our cruise. I had to wear the same pair of underwear for a week! Thank heavens I ate allot of cheese beforehand to minimize the risk.)

All-in-all cruising is great as you never know who – or what – you’ll meet.

Now that I think about it I imagine the first cruise ever was the one made by Noah. It was a rather lengthy cruise with the ship filled to the brim with livestock.

And for those that missed his voyage (i.e. unicorns or anyone who works for Fox news; they always seem to miss the boat) well, they  were never to be seen or heard from again.

Geez, you wonder with a record like that how did cruises ever survive the centuries and thrive? They must have great public relations; either that or great lawyers. Or, someone with allot of pull at the top.













Leave a Reply