Tag Archives: celsius

Laughter Is Your Lips Jogging. So Go For A Run!

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Avatar_mustard_hatSales of our new cartoon book entitled: ‘Butt Seriously’ have been going very well, and I’d like to thank all who have purchased thus far. And for those that haven’t yet managed to order a copy I say, why wait? Life’s too short not to have a good laugh. Comedy lifts the spirit, eases the tension and generally improves ones mood. (to keep me happy, as I write this my cat (Subira) is under the desk tickling my bare feet with a feather.)

 

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Why wait until you’re on the other side to be happy, upbeat and brimming with life!

If you can’t stand the heat then for heavens sakes, sit.

(and read our book)

If the rat race is getting to you then I say stop wearing pants made of marble cheese.

(and read our book)

If the grass seems greener on the other side of the fence then buy both those houses and tear down that fence!

(and then read our book on two porches, which translates into two sales for me)

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Sure, there are many situations in life that can get you down. Things like:  your girl friend leaving you; you’re dog getting run over; Netflix raising their prices; Kim Kardashian doing Shakespeare in the park or a plague of locusts raining down upon you and your loved ones. (actually, I would infinitely prefer the plaque over Kim’s recitation of the immortal ‘Bard’s’ words.)

Remember, when life hands you lemons you’re supposed to make lemonade, right? (or take up juggling.)

 

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So get up off of that couch, throw open your windows and yell, “Who wants to buy some fresh hand-squeezed lemonade?” at the top of your lungs. Get it out there!!

Then quietly listen. If you hear police sirens approaching then you might have slightly overdid it a bit. If you hear neighbours yelling numerous obscenities at you simply remind them that you had nothing better to do at three in the morning anyway so why not make a tart drink for all?

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But, if you hear that dreaded ambulance siren off in the distance inching ever closer then, well, you might want to pack an overnight bag (one containing a copy of our book ‘Butt Seriously’ of course) and your lawyer’s phone number.

 

 

 

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So remember, laughter is the best medicine for what ails you. Simply get a copy of our book and when hungry for humour eat a page – or two – from it a day. I’ve also been told it’s a great source of much needed roughage as well. (better than bran.)

By doing so you’ll soon find yourself out in the forest serenading all your friends with a tune or two.

(and isn’t that definitely better than singing the blues alone, drinking lemonade?)

Bon appetit!

(get your copy of our book here; I hand-sign every copy ordered!)

 

 

Spring Is In The Air! Not.

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Right about now – especially for Alexandre and myself – we are of the mindset that spring should be here instead of a couple more months of bitter cold. But, as our happy friend in this cartoon remarks it’s all in how you view it. (In Canada temperatures are in Celsius; if I convert it to Fahrenheit it would be warmer) Fair enough. I still view it as winter though AND I STILL WANT IT TO BE SPRING! There’s a reason they call this time the ‘dead of winter’. Not too much to do but hunker down inside the home, try to stay warm and keep taking vitamin D.

Even my cat Subira (who I have trained to go for walks on a leash) wants to be outside. She getsSilly Juju a bit antsy being cooped up inside during the coldest time of year but, what’s one to do? I do get her out when the weather co-operates but if it’s bitter cold and accompanied by a meter of snow then forget it! We stay inside, sipping hot drinks and playing chess. (how one can lose to  a cat needs further explanation, and I’m not going to give it. I’m mocked enough by family, friends color_0319_hell_barand neighbours – even the odd dog – so let it lie.)

 

Although losing three weeks in a row did eventually send me out into the frostbite to have a few drinks with some old friends at a local watering hole. At least there I seemed to be the happiest of the bunch. (one guy even lost to his parakeet at blackjack.)

Later that night on my way home from the pub I did bump into these happy-go-lucky guys. color_0239_ski_doThey seemed good with the cold and knew how to best roll with it. They offered to hoist me up onto their shoulders for a spin but I said I don’t monkey around after having a few drinks, and declined. They took it in stride and didn’t go totally ‘apeshit’ all over me.

Once back home I went to bed and dreamed of the approaching winter’s  thaw. Next morning I awoke only to be surrounded by water! It seems Subira had poked a few holes in my water bed during the night and I had sprung a leak! (that’s my story and I’m sticking with it.)

Spring will be here soon enough and Subira and I will walk the streets again, basking in the heat. But in the meantime I’m thinking of taking a few on-line courses to ‘up my game’ so as not to keep losing to her.

Maybe I need to change games to , say, go fish. No, I have a hunch she’d be good at that too.

Stay warm!

 

The Devil Made Me Write This.

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“The Devil made me do it!” became a national catch phrase in the 1970s thanks to Flip Wilson. This great stand-up comedian – whose television show I used to watch weekly – oftentimes dressed up as his alter ego ‘Geraldine’. And the above phrase along with one of his (her) other favourite lines, “The Devil made me buy this dress!” always proved hysterically funny when ‘Flip’ said them on his show.  (In fact he won a grammy award for his album ‘The Devil Made Me Buy This Dress.’)

Yes, I’m sure we all know the story of Lucifer, but what we don’t know is just how big a settlement he received – and, whom did he in fact receive it from? (I mean a fall like the one he undertook probably was worth plenty; more than an amount paid out for just slipping on ice I would venture to say.)

Of course his lawyer(s) probably would have eaten away much – if not all – of at that amount for services rendered throughout the endless centuries, until there probably wasn’t even enough left for our ‘Prince of Darkness’ to buy clothes, food,  and suitable lodgings.

Does the Devil blame anyone in particular for his lot in life?

Possibly.

Does the Devil sit around and watch Fox news all day?

Maybe.

Does the Devil think of myriad ways to ‘upgrade’ his status in the world and get more ‘likes’ on his Facebook page?

Probably.

 

A great film called ‘The Exorcist’ (1973) starred a very young actress named Linda Blair, who in the film was supposedly possessed by the Devil. I remember watching that film and thinking, “Mnnnn. If the Devil likes it so hot all the time (at least my understanding) then why does he make her room so cold?”  Could he have grossly miscalculated on his conversion to Celsius?  (Maybe learning the metric system would make him a much happier Devil.) Or, does he have an undiagnosed thyroid problem? (In which case a few medications would be just the answer.)

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And, as a much happier Devil his health might improve.

With improvement comes a better frame of mind, and possibly inner peace.

Who knows, the Devil then might just move to a city and open up a ‘yoga’ sanctuary. (who really know who started the ‘bikram’ trend anyway?)

Odd, I was going to write a post about a completely unrelated matter but as I sat down to compose my fingers typed out this. Why? The Devil made me do it! (I’ve just gotta stop playing that record, as well as take a moment to turn down the thermostat a wee bit).