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Category Archives: history
To view more cartoons from Mustard and Boloney visit Gocomics.com
Are You Seeing Double? Yes, You Are!
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Alexandre and I are extremely proud and excited to have sold an astounding amount of copies of our new book ‘Butt, Seriously’. I have to use all my toes and fingers plus some of Alexandre’s to count that high.
To all of you who bought we give a heartfelt thanks. And, to those that haven’t yet managed to snag a copy we say: Why not? Is a heartfelt thanks not enough? Do you require a kidney too?
Or, are you secretly waiting for the deal of the century?
Well, here it is! Out in the open. THE DEAL OF THE CENTURY!
For a limited time we’re prepared to offer this fabulous deal: Buy one book at the regular price
and get an additional copy for only 5 bucks more! You heard – or rather read – that right. You can now get two copies of this humorous tome for only $25. (shipping, handling and taxes included.)
I will also personally hand-sign each and every copy of this collectors item, which contains over 100 of our classic cartoons, and all in full eye-popping colour.
WOW! I say WOW again. Never before has such an offer been written by me and in this blog.
I repeat (especially after Chili night at our house) : Get two copies of our new book ‘Butt Seriously‘ for the unheard of price of only $25 dollars. Hey, I’ll even – as this cartoon suggests – throw in a cruise to further sweeten the deal, so long as you pay for the cruise/airfare and all the taxes yourself.
So, get you own copy of the book that Dan Piraro – creator of Bizarro – has been raving about RIGHT HERE by clicking with your mouse thingy. Butt seriously!
The Devil Is In The Details.
“The Devil made me do it!” became a national catch phrase in the 1970s thanks to Flip Wilson. This great stand-up comedian – whose television show I used to watch weekly – oftentimes dressed up as his alter ego ‘Geraldine’. And the above phrase along with one of his (her) other favourite lines, “The Devil made me buy this dress!” always proved hysterically funny when ‘Flip’ said them on his show. (In fact he won a Grammy award for his album ‘The Devil Made Me Buy This Dress.’)
Yes, I’m sure we all know the story of Lucifer, but what we don’t know is just how big a settlement he received – and, whom did he in fact receive it from? (I mean a fall like the one he undertook probably was worth plenty; more than an amount paid out for just slipping on sidewalk ice I would venture to say.)
Of course his lawyer(s) probably would have eaten away much – if not all – of that settlement amount for services rendered throughout the endless centuries, until there probably wasn’t even enough left for our ‘Prince of Darkness’ to buy clothes, food, suitable lodgings and an extra space heater for his office.
Does the Devil blame anyone in particular for his lot in life?
Possibly.
Does the Devil sit around and watch Fox news all day?
Maybe.
Does the Devil think of myriad ways to ‘upgrade’ his status in the world and get more ‘likes’ on his Facebook page?
Probably.
A great film called ‘The Exorcist‘ (1973) starred a very young actress named Linda Blair, who in the film was supposedly possessed by the Devil.
I remember watching that film and thinking, “Mnnnn. If the Devil likes it so hot all the time (at least my understanding) then why does he make her room so cold?” Could he have grossly miscalculated on his conversion to Celsius? (Maybe learning the metric system would make him a much happier Devil.) Or, does he have an undiagnosed thyroid problem? (In which case a few medications would be just the answer.)
And, as a much happier Devil his health might improve.
With improvement comes a better frame of mind, and possibly inner peace.
Who knows, the Devil then might just move to a city and open up a ‘yoga’ sanctuary. (maybe he already has because who really started this ‘bikram’ trend anyway?)
Odd, I was going to write a post about a completely unrelated matter but as I sat down to compose my fingers typed out this. Why? The Devil made me do it! (I’ve just gotta stop playing that record as well as take a moment to turn down the thermostat a wee bit, and then up with the air conditioning.)
How Is That Evolution Thing Going For You?
As I get older I tend to look back on some of the choices I’ve made in the past and wonder ‘what was I thinking?’. (Did I really wear platform shoes and polyester suits with bell-bottomed pants? Yes. And actually dance to disco music? Yes again. Did I dare mix peanut butter and chocolate before Reeses was invented? So true)
Is having these thoughts of ‘what if the road I took was a different one would my life be markedly different’ the same for everyone as you age? Do we all have a white John Travolta-type suit hanging in our closets waiting to be worn during that next disco dance to stardom? Or will it simply stay in the closet protected by moth balls, never to be used again? Have I ‘evolved’ or simply gone along for the ride?
Someone once said to me that he was an expert in his chosen field because he had twenty years experience on the job (and with the same company for the entire time).
I was suitably impressed then sat and thought more about that statement a bit. (while I ate a few peanut butter cups in my now chocolate stained white suit.)
What was he really saying?
Was it, “I have twenty year’s experience on the job” or rather, “I have one year’s experience twenty times.”
Had he ‘evolved’ or just remained relatively the same?
Perhaps that is a question that can only be answered by a higher authority than I.(my wife)
Perhaps there is no ‘right’ answer; only ‘lefts’. (and sometimes the odd middle)
Perhaps every bone is connected, and it doesn’t matter what road you take so long as you don’t fall over a rock (or from platform shoes) and break any of them.
Maybe I need to make a list of things that had circumstances been different I might have done.
Maybe I need to actually ‘do’ some of those things on that list. Experience them fully without bumping into, well, you know, the boney guy in the dark robe. (Question: Did ‘Death’ ever have any ‘life’ choices? Just wondering.)
Maybe I need to ‘walk the walk’ and not’ talk the talk’.
Maybe I should check my thesaurus and find another word (s) to use instead of ‘maybe’ all the time.
Life is definitely full of multiple choices.
You say ‘tomehto; I say ‘tomahto’. You say ‘potehto’; I say ‘potahto’.
Everything is relative.
And, speaking of relatives, I wonder what this fish did evolve in to? (maybe me) But, it would have stayed the same had it not left the security of the pond.
So, is it time for a change? Are you ready to leave the warm waters of ‘same old, same old’?
If so, then I humbly suggest you take along some scuba gear. You may occasionally wish to return to your humble beginnings for a bit of familiarity from time-to-time, and to visit those whose road was not as dry and traveled as yours.
Remember, evolution waits for no one. And no one evolves waiting.
‘Tis The Season To Be Jolly!
‘Tis the season to be Jolly! (and for those of you who are not named Jolly, what were your parents thinking anyway?) Although with a name like Frank, Joan or Samuel I hope you can still have somewhat of a reasonably good time as Christmas is definitely near. (I think it falls on the 25th this year if I’m not mistaken).
And, let’s hope when Santa does drop by your place he leaves more than just this ‘Elfie’ card under your tree.
(note: Santa is lactose intolerant so maybe leave out some almond milk with those – did I mention gluten free? – cookies.)
As well, when you write Santa you may want to include directions to your home because with
cutbacks being the way there are he may not make it. Sure, he may have GPS but visiting the entire world on a single battery charge is risky; very risky indeed. At least when he had Rudolph he could slip him a Red Bull or something if fatigue was kicking in.
Oh, and remember to also clean out your chimney. We can’t have the big guy hurt himself or get stuck for any length of time. And please do not have a fire going. Santa’s ‘cheeks’ are rosy enough as it is! (according to Mrs. Clause anyway)
HISTORY NOTE:
When Santa first arrived on our shores he had only two reindeer with him. (hence for that first Christmas he only visited 5 homes – all on the same street.) But, over the years he accumulated more – horsepower? – and found that nine seemed to be just enough to get the job done.
He did have thousands of reindeer apply but only a handful of those applicants could actually fly. Many said they could get high (aha) but when push came to shove they simply landed on their backsides when leaving a rooftop.
Oh, many other types of animals applied. In point of fact our red-suited fellow did consider a
species known as ‘Google drone’ but found that people thought they were UFO’s (especially near area 51) and felt that they might suddenly be abducted, and rectal-probed. So, he abandoned that idea.
He also found that monkeys just wanted to party all the time and not actually deliver anything to anyone so they too did not make the final cut.
Rest assured though that Santa is on top of his game. He knows if you’ve been good or bad, happy or sad – or just plain ticked off. (having an off-season part-time job with the NSA really helps) He’s also got all your information stored on the cloud; one that he flies to twice a week to update his files.
So, here’s hoping you get (as Bing Crosby sings) a white Christmas. But, unfortunately with global warming it just might be something a touch different. If it gets any warmer Santa may just have to visit your place in a thong as that suit of his is way too bulky and warm. And those reindeer will undoutedly need shades – a la Blues Brothers – to cut down on the glare.
Happy holidays and be Jolly!
At least for a day. Then go back to using your own name.