Category Archives: bars
Are You Seeing Double? Yes, You Are!
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Alexandre and I are extremely proud and excited to have sold an astounding amount of copies of our new book ‘Butt, Seriously’. I have to use all my toes and fingers plus some of Alexandre’s to count that high.
To all of you who bought we give a heartfelt thanks. And, to those that haven’t yet managed to snag a copy we say: Why not? Is a heartfelt thanks not enough? Do you require a kidney too?
Or, are you secretly waiting for the deal of the century?
Well, here it is! Out in the open. THE DEAL OF THE CENTURY!
For a limited time we’re prepared to offer this fabulous deal: Buy one book at the regular price
and get an additional copy for only 5 bucks more! You heard – or rather read – that right. You can now get two copies of this humorous tome for only $25. (shipping, handling and taxes included.)
I will also personally hand-sign each and every copy of this collectors item, which contains over 100 of our classic cartoons, and all in full eye-popping colour.
WOW! I say WOW again. Never before has such an offer been written by me and in this blog.
I repeat (especially after Chili night at our house) : Get two copies of our new book ‘Butt Seriously‘ for the unheard of price of only $25 dollars. Hey, I’ll even – as this cartoon suggests – throw in a cruise to further sweeten the deal, so long as you pay for the cruise/airfare and all the taxes yourself.
So, get you own copy of the book that Dan Piraro – creator of Bizarro – has been raving about RIGHT HERE by clicking with your mouse thingy. Butt seriously!
This Birthday Girl Knows How To Party. Seriously!
This is my cat Subira (pronounced sue-beer-ah). She is a Longhair, Lynx, Bluepoint, Applehead Balinese. Now that’s a mouthful. She has Lynx markings on her head and ‘tuffed paws’; her ears, paws 
and tail are blue-tipped; here head is round (not like a Siamese cat’s head which is triangular; she is related to the Siamese); and her species is a Balinese. Whew!!! She is also hypo-allergenic.
And, of course those lovely blue eyes are to just die for.
Also, this is her birthday week! She’ll turn four years old on April 28th. I have events planned for her every day. It’s party time!!
For example, I had her out last night for a wee drink at a local watering hole. (this establishment
doesn’t mind cats; the owner’s a cougar herself)
Anyway, we stayed until closing time then headed home.
Outside, she got a little woosy and had to lie down a minute. I snapped this photo and tweeted it.
Here she is the next day still sleeping it off in my clothes box.
I didn’t want to disturb her to get my clothes so I went around for the entire day sans pants.
Good thing I work at home. (good thing my underwear is kept in another dresser.)
Fours years old! I still can’t believe it. We got her from a breeder when she was about eight months old. Our last cat lived to be 26 (human years); so we are hoping she lives to be at least twice that age.
This is the very earliest picture I have of her. It was taken by the breeder when she was just
seven weeks old.
(Notice the colouring she started with.)
And, what an inquisitive mind.
(she’s probably thinking: where’s my Marge Simpson blue hair? I’m supposed to be a blue-point! Are you guys just messing with me?)
Don’t tell her but I’ve planned a surprise birthday party with dozens of guests.
And, her parents couldn’t be happier.
I’m bringing in extra play toys for the event and a dozen or so more scratch posts for those that have left their nails fashionably long.
(Note: Subira actually has never scratched up our furniture – not even once! She always uses her scratch posts. True! Well, our couch is made of cement so maybe that has a little bit to do with it.)
Also, when my partner Alexandre and I created our own press what better symbol for our
printing house than a cool-looking cat! We drafted many logos and this is the one Subira fancied the most. (her tail makes an excellent bookmark)
She just loves the fact she looks like a virtual hologram. And she herself chose the colour.
Well, I’m off to shape up the guest list for the ‘event’.
I think I’ll invite all kinds of animals. Of course it will be a BYOB. (bring your own box – as in litter box.)
With this crowd it should be an interesting evening. I am so stoked!!
Happy Birthday Subira! You are the cat’s meow.
Today is the 28th. The birthday girl is ready to party!!!!
All Aboard! We Set Sail In An Hour. Seriously!
Cruising is big business; really big business. In fact two of the largest cruise ships in the world (Allure of the Seas and Oasis of the Seas) hold a staggering 6,296 people each! (not including crew) That means, for example, that the entire town of Pauls Valley in Oklahoma (population 6,187) can rent the entire boat and cruise the Caribbean all by themselves. (of course by doing this they would have to bring in outsiders to watch their pets.) If you have never been on a cruise I would whole-heartedly recommend it. Just be careful as to the cruise line you choose. My wife and I somewhat enjoyed our cruising
experience several years ago but if we had to do it over again we would choose a more ‘established’ line; one that actually included meals and the mandatory rest-periods per hour as required by international law. Still it was nice having the salt-water spray in your face (to revive you once you passed out) and the nice ocean breezes blowing through your tattered rags. And wifi….forget it! (although they did have a guy come in at night and do shadow puppets on the wall for entertainment; or maybe it was a woman, I’m not sure. This person was always introduced as ‘Ben-Her’).
I imagine cruises in the olden days were a bit more of an adventure. No swimming pools, no saunas, no staff, no massages, no chocolates left under your pillow at night, and definitely no ‘live’ entertainment! Sometimes you probably didn’t even know where you’d end up, just going where the wind might take you.
Back then – as now – you did have to be careful about pirates coming on board, stealing your valuables, and maybe even taking you to a place you really, really don’t
want to go (i.e. Stephen Harper’s house or an Adam Sandler film retrospective; both so not funny)
When it comes to cruises timing is essential. If you are late they do not wait. The ship sails without you. Also, if your luggage doesn’t arrive it leaves the harbour without them. (this actually happened to us on our cruise. I had to wear the same pair of underwear for a week! Thank heavens I ate allot of cheese beforehand to minimize the risk.)
All-in-all cruising is great as you never know who – or what – you’ll meet.
Now that I think about it I imagine the first cruise ever was the one made by Noah. It was a rather lengthy cruise with the ship filled to the brim with livestock.
And for those that missed his voyage (i.e. unicorns or anyone who works for Fox news; they always seem to miss the boat) well, they were never to be seen or heard from again.
Geez, you wonder with a record like that how did cruises ever survive the centuries and thrive? They must have great public relations; either that or great lawyers. Or, someone with allot of pull at the top.
Spring Is In The Air! Not.
Right about now – especially for Alexandre and myself – we are of the mindset that spring should be here instead of a couple more months of bitter cold. But, as our happy friend in this cartoon remarks it’s all in how you view it. (In Canada temperatures are in Celsius; if I convert it to Fahrenheit it would be warmer) Fair enough. I still view it as winter though AND I STILL WANT IT TO BE SPRING! There’s a reason they call this time the ‘dead of winter’. Not too much to do but hunker down inside the home, try to stay warm and keep taking vitamin D.
Even my cat Subira (who I have trained to go for walks on a leash) wants to be outside. She gets a bit antsy being cooped up inside during the coldest time of year but, what’s one to do? I do get her out when the weather co-operates but if it’s bitter cold and accompanied by a meter of snow then forget it! We stay inside, sipping hot drinks and playing chess. (how one can lose to a cat needs further explanation, and I’m not going to give it. I’m mocked enough by family, friends 
and neighbours – even the odd dog – so let it lie.)
Although losing three weeks in a row did eventually send me out into the frostbite to have a few drinks with some old friends at a local watering hole. At least there I seemed to be the happiest of the bunch. (one guy even lost to his parakeet at blackjack.)
Later that night on my way home from the pub I did bump into these happy-go-lucky guys. 
They seemed good with the cold and knew how to best roll with it. They offered to hoist me up onto their shoulders for a spin but I said I don’t monkey around after having a few drinks, and declined. They took it in stride and didn’t go totally ‘apeshit’ all over me.
Once back home I went to bed and dreamed of the approaching winter’s thaw. Next morning I a
woke only to be surrounded by water! It seems Subira had poked a few holes in my water bed during the night and I had sprung a leak! (that’s my story and I’m sticking with it.)
Spring will be here soon enough and Subira and I will walk the streets again, basking in the heat. But in the meantime I’m thinking of taking a few on-line courses to ‘up my game’ so as not to keep losing to her.
Maybe I need to change games to , say, go fish. No, I have a hunch she’d be good at that too.
Stay warm!