Alexandre and I are extremely proud and excited to have sold an astounding amount of copies of our new book ‘Butt, Seriously’. I have to use all my toes and fingers plus some of Alexandre’s to count that high.
To all of you who bought we give a heartfelt thanks. And, to those that haven’t yet managed to snag a copy we say: Why not? Is a heartfelt thanks not enough? Do you require a kidney too?
Or, are you secretly waiting for the deal of the century?
Well, here it is! Out in the open. THE DEAL OF THE CENTURY!
For a limited time we’re prepared to offer this fabulous deal: Buy one book at the regular price
and get an additional copy for only 5 bucks more! You heard – or rather read – that right. You can now get two copies of this humorous tome for only $25. (shipping, handling and taxes included.)
I will also personally hand-sign each and every copy of this collectors item, which contains over 100 of our classic cartoons, and all in full eye-popping colour.
WOW! I say WOW again. Never before has such an offer been written by me and in this blog.
I repeat (especially after Chili night at our house) : Get two copies of our new book ‘Butt Seriously‘ for the unheard of price of only $25 dollars. Hey, I’ll even – as this cartoon suggests – throw in a cruise to further sweeten the deal, so long as you pay for the cruise/airfare and all the taxes yourself.
So, get you own copy of the book that Dan Piraro – creator of Bizarro – has been raving about RIGHT HERE by clicking with your mouse thingy. Butt seriously!
Fade In.
Movies have always been a passion of mine. From as far back as I can remember I’ve always enjoyed them. So much so in fact, that when I went to university I majored in Film studies. And, as luck would have it, I won their top award for screenwriting. (that script became the basis for the full-length feature film ‘The Night Watchman’ )
So, when I started cartooning, many films, their characters, settings and such naturally became fair game for me, and Alexandre’s extremely creative pen. Can you name the movie inspiration for the above cartoon? Even better, what year was it made and exactly who was in it? (Try not to use Google.)
I sent this interesting send-up of a popular franchise to fellow cartoonist Dan Piraro (Bizarro) for his opinion – and he loved it! No word yet from J.K. Rowling. (on whether or not she likes Bizarro’s stuff.)
Here’s an odd twist on a famous scene from the movie ‘Ben Hur’. (Charlton Heston would be proud. Bring on the chariot race!)
This 1959 film was helmed by one of my favourite directors. His name? William Wyler. Other notable works from him include: Dodsworth (1936), Mrs. Miniver (1942), The Heiress (1945), The Best Years Of Our Lives (1946), Roman Holiday (1953), The Collector (1965), and Funny Girl (1968).
(I actually have the original movie posters for Ben Hur from the cinema display windows – when they used to do that – framed, and hanging in my office at home.)
In keeping with the Roman times theme, I thought this was a nice twist on a classic line. Again, can you name the film? HInt: It stars Robert DeNiro. (well, duh.)
Actually early film stock was quite flammable so maybe that’s what started this disastrous fire. Apparently, Nero loved the cinema but didn’t believe in storing the negatives properly.
Personally, I just love black and white films. There are just so many layers to them. It’s too bad they colourize them now, because once done, it washes out the shadings and flattens the imagery. If they originated in colour, that’s okay, but to paint it in, no. Watch any film noir picture like ‘Scarlet Street’ (1945), ‘In A Lonely Place (1950) or ‘The Big heat’ (1953) and you’ll see a prime example of how a black and white film can and should look. To see these films uncut – in their original form – check out movie station TCM (Turner Classic Movies)
Interesting fact: To go to the movies – silent pictures – back in 1910 cost .07 cents. In 1955 – the year I was born – a film ticket would set you back .45 cents. Now, to see a film, have popcorn and a drink I need to take out a second mortgage. And if I want butter on that popcorn…….don’t even ask! Although I guess one could stay home and watch movies all day from Netflix for a reasonable price. But, that’s not the same thing as being with a crowd and seeing it up on the big screen with big sound, big effects, and even bigger than life movie stars.
Hey, soon we’ll be watching blockbusters shrunk down onto ones i-watch screen. I don’t know. I mean how many Avengers can you fit into that small a screen? Enough to save the universe I hope – or at the very least Apple.
Fade Out.
Yes, dear readers, that is I. Mustard. And yes, I am wearing a giant banana suit in my living room. Why, you ask? (So many have, from my neighbours all the way to the zoo monkey who wanted to ‘peel’ me.) To that question posed I say ‘why not!’
I mean it’s not like I look like this every day of the week. I wear it every second day of the week and all day on the weekends. Does this make me crazy? Possibly. Eccentric? Perhaps. A purveyor of potassium and electrolytes? Damn straight!
(Take notice that my cat Subira is at the bottom left corner checking me out.)
If you find this a little unusual here is a picture of my wife and I. She goes around dressed like Pancho Villa a good bit of the time now. And, 
she’s even studying Spanish! Oh, no!
So, half the time i don’t know what she’s saying anymore, and the other half of the time I’m asleep (as it is nighttime).
Actually, the real reason we look like this is that we were recently asked out to a costume party at a neighbour’s house. We dressed to the nines and I won first prize in the dance contest! I showed the judges all my moves (on paper first) before I let loose. All I can say is they were in awe. Their mouths hung open for what seemed like an eternity. I had them eating out of my hand! Then we all swung from the chandelier. Seriously!
One judge seemed aloof and studied me very carefully. Also, he kept looking down a lot of the time, apparently making plenty of notes. Actually, it was only later that I learned he was in fact drawing something. I managed to retrieve this picture from the garbage later that night when no one was looking.
I compared this picture with one I had received from someone else while attending another party in the previous month. Are they trying to suggest something? Are they intimating I need my head examined? Or, is their message something subliminal like I should eat more nuts for the protein – as I am a vegetarian – instead of injesting so many over-ripe bananas?
Notice that the 
artistry is unmistakably the same! Yet they were given to me by two different people. Am I crazy or is that even possible? Can two distinct people have the exact same drawing style?
I immediately phoned up Alexandre (Boloney) as he is the artistic genius behind Mustard and Boloney cartoons. I posed my dilemma. He said that can never happen – except maybe with twins – but that he himself often copies his own unique style to place into the next fresh cartoon we create. That’s what great artists do. But we never copy another person’s style. So both cartoons must be the work of just one individual.
“Interesting”, I said. “So it would seem that this cartoonist is a master of physical disguise but cannot mask his artistic tendencies. His style is like a genetic fingerprint.”
There was a lengthy silence on the phone.
Alexandre finally spoke up and added, “If you ate more bananas your vision would improve as they are a great source of Vitamin A. By doing that you would have clearly seen that these two cartoons could only be the work of the same person, and not that imaginary extra one in your head.”
An a-peeling thought. If he only knew.
Bon Appetit!
Good news fellow cartoon lovers. Mustard and Boloney’s humorous panels is being syndicated! That’s right!! We have just been picked up by Universal for on-line syndication.
Now, not only can you still enjoy our fresh, tasty entrees here at our cartoon diner, but now you will be able to order take-out from Universal.
Our official launch date is Monday May 25th.
You will be able to find us at: www.gocomics.com. To begin with we will be featured there every Tuesday, Thursday and Sunday.
We will be positioned alongside such classics as: Calvin and Hobbs; Doonesbury; Peanuts; Dilbert; Adam@Home, Herman, Pearls Before Swine and Pooch Café.
I do hope you will check out our brand of irreverent humour at the new site. And, don’t forget to
tell all of your friends too!
Again, that’s Monday May 25th at: www.gocomics.com.
As Dan Piraro (creator of Bizarro) states:
“The real art of cartooning is to create a compelling illustration that facilitates a compelling gag. Caulfield (Mustard) and Rouillard (Boloney) are the most shining example of this unique combination I have seen in some time.”
Thanks Dan. We love your stuff too.
Again, that’s Monday May 25th at: www.gocomics.com.
We look forward to tickling your funny bone not only here with our blog, but with cartoons on GoComics as well. And if you bring it (funny bone)
to our front door we’ll tickle it in person.
Bon appetit.
As I get older I tend to look back on some of the choices I’ve made in the past and wonder ‘what was I thinking?’. (Did I really wear platform shoes and polyester suits with bell-bottomed pants? Yes. And actually dance to disco music? Yes again. Did I dare mix peanut butter and chocolate before Reeses was invented? So true)
Is having these thoughts of ‘what if the road I took was a different one would my life be markedly different’ the same for everyone as you age? Do we all have a white John Travolta-type suit hanging in our closets waiting to be worn during that next disco dance to stardom? Or will it simply stay in the closet protected by moth balls, never to be used again? Have I ‘evolved’ or simply gone along for the ride?
Someone once said to me that he was an expert in his chosen field because he had twenty years experience on the job (and with the same company for the entire time).
I was suitably impressed then sat and thought more about that statement a bit. (while I ate a few peanut butter cups in my now chocolate stained white suit.)
What was he really saying?
Was it, “I have twenty year’s experience on the job” or rather, “I have one year’s experience twenty times.”
Had he ‘evolved’ or just remained relatively the same?
Perhaps that is a question that can only be answered by a higher authority than I.(my wife)
Perhaps there is no ‘right’ answer; only ‘lefts’. (and sometimes the odd middle)
Perhaps every bone is connected, and it doesn’t matter what road you take so long as you don’t fall over a rock (or from platform shoes) and break any of them.
Maybe I need to make a list of things that had circumstances been different I might have done.
Maybe I need to actually ‘do’ some of those things on that list. Experience them fully without bumping into, well, you know, the boney guy in the dark robe. (Question: Did ‘Death’ ever have any ‘life’ choices? Just wondering.)
Maybe I need to ‘walk the walk’ and not’ talk the talk’.
Maybe I should check my thesaurus and find another word (s) to use instead of ‘maybe’ all the time.
Life is definitely full of multiple choices.
You say ‘tomehto; I say ‘tomahto’. You say ‘potehto’; I say ‘potahto’.
Everything is relative.
And, speaking of relatives, I wonder what this fish did evolve in to? (maybe me) But, it would have stayed the same had it not left the security of the pond.
So, is it time for a change? Are you ready to leave the warm waters of ‘same old, same old’?
If so, then I humbly suggest you take along some scuba gear. You may occasionally wish to return to your humble beginnings for a bit of familiarity from time-to-time, and to visit those whose road was not as dry and traveled as yours.
Remember, evolution waits for no one. And no one evolves waiting.
This is my cat Subira (pronounced sue-beer-ah). She is a Longhair, Lynx, Bluepoint, Applehead Balinese. Now that’s a mouthful. She has Lynx markings on her head and ‘tuffed paws’; her ears, paws 
and tail are blue-tipped; here head is round (not like a Siamese cat’s head which is triangular; she is related to the Siamese); and her species is a Balinese. Whew!!! She is also hypo-allergenic.
And, of course those lovely blue eyes are to just die for.
Also, this is her birthday week! She’ll turn four years old on April 28th. I have events planned for her every day. It’s party time!!
For example, I had her out last night for a wee drink at a local watering hole. (this establishment
doesn’t mind cats; the owner’s a cougar herself)
Anyway, we stayed until closing time then headed home.
Outside, she got a little woosy and had to lie down a minute. I snapped this photo and tweeted it.
Here she is the next day still sleeping it off in my clothes box.
I didn’t want to disturb her to get my clothes so I went around for the entire day sans pants.
Good thing I work at home. (good thing my underwear is kept in another dresser.)
Fours years old! I still can’t believe it. We got her from a breeder when she was about eight months old. Our last cat lived to be 26 (human years); so we are hoping she lives to be at least twice that age.
This is the very earliest picture I have of her. It was taken by the breeder when she was just
seven weeks old.
(Notice the colouring she started with.)
And, what an inquisitive mind.
(she’s probably thinking: where’s my Marge Simpson blue hair? I’m supposed to be a blue-point! Are you guys just messing with me?)
Don’t tell her but I’ve planned a surprise birthday party with dozens of guests.
And, her parents couldn’t be happier.
I’m bringing in extra play toys for the event and a dozen or so more scratch posts for those that have left their nails fashionably long.
(Note: Subira actually has never scratched up our furniture – not even once! She always uses her scratch posts. True! Well, our couch is made of cement so maybe that has a little bit to do with it.)
Also, when my partner Alexandre and I created our own press what better symbol for our
printing house than a cool-looking cat! We drafted many logos and this is the one Subira fancied the most. (her tail makes an excellent bookmark)
She just loves the fact she looks like a virtual hologram. And she herself chose the colour.
Well, I’m off to shape up the guest list for the ‘event’.
I think I’ll invite all kinds of animals. Of course it will be a BYOB. (bring your own box – as in litter box.)
With this crowd it should be an interesting evening. I am so stoked!!
Happy Birthday Subira! You are the cat’s meow.
Today is the 28th. The birthday girl is ready to party!!!!
This is my granddaughter Maisy. You may remember me speaking about her from several posts back. What a doll! She called me the other day to let me know just how much she enjoyed reading our latest book entitled: Butt Seriously.
She loved it so much that she began passing it around to family and friends. (next time I’ll have to encourage her to ‘sell’ the book to her friends, not loan it out. I need the money to start that college fund!)
Here it is in the hands of her sister Gemma, (another fabulous granddaughter) who is ecstatic to get it. And, why not? it’s packed full of cartoons – over 100
of them – for any and all ages.
Actually, I believe when Gemma was born the doctor was reading a copy and as he was laughing so hard when she entered the world I know Gemma will grow up to have an excellent sense of humour. ( he also slapped her bottom using our book instead of the usual hand slap hence she ‘giggled’.) And she’s never looked back.
As you can see the book in her hand has been 
well-traveled and seen better days meaning many have enjoyed its humour! (I believe even the family dog glanced through it and tried to bury it for future generations to dig up and enjoy.)
With that in mind Gemma requested a new copy – one without dog ‘spittle’ on it. I gave her one and here she is having just finished reading it cover-to-cover. And check out that happy smile! (another satisfied customer)
And, you may ask, what was her favourite cartoon? She said she just loved the one on page 8. (now you’ll have to get your own copy to see her preferred panel.) 
Here are my two little princesses discussing the book amongst themselves, and reliving their joy at having feasted at a banquet of hilarious jokes. I’ll bet they are discussing each and every panel in detail.
That gives me an idea for a cartoon! I’m jotting the idea down right now. (don’t tell them that they inspired it or they may want royalties of some sort) I think I’ll just give them all the mustard and bologne they can eat and let it go at that)
And, maybe another free book.
(okay two free ones.)
Here it is! A cartoon fit for not one but two princesses.
(I especially like the ‘no coaches’ sign in front of the store)
And, although you can’t see it she is wearing glass slippers under her dress.
And, in her giant handbag she has, of course, a copy of our book. (she’s probably taking it into the print place to run off illegal copies. Mnnnn.)
Thanks Maisy and Gemma for all your inspiration and kind words about our latest book.
If you two ladies have any ideas you’d like me to work on then jot them down and hand them over. I will give you full credit, of course.
Keep on smiling. Your grandpa loves you both!!!
Butt Seriously…………….
(get your own copy of our book here. I personally sign each purchase and mail for it to you for free.)
