Yes, dear readers, that is I. Mustard. And yes, I am wearing a giant banana suit in my living room. Why, you ask? (So many have, from my neighbours all the way to the zoo monkey who wanted to ‘peel’ me.) To that question posed I say ‘why not!’
I mean it’s not like I look like this every day of the week. I wear it every second day of the week and all day on the weekends. Does this make me crazy? Possibly. Eccentric? Perhaps. A purveyor of potassium and electrolytes? Damn straight!
(Take notice that my cat Subira is at the bottom left corner checking me out.)
So, half the time i don’t know what she’s saying anymore, and the other half of the time I’m asleep (as it is nighttime).
Actually, the real reason we look like this is that we were recently asked out to a costume party at a neighbour’s house. We dressed to the nines and I won first prize in the dance contest! I showed the judges all my moves (on paper first) before I let loose. All I can say is they were in awe. Their mouths hung open for what seemed like an eternity. I had them eating out of my hand! Then we all swung from the chandelier. Seriously!
One judge seemed aloof and studied me very carefully. Also, he kept looking down a lot of the time, apparently making plenty of notes. Actually, it was only later that I learned he was in fact drawing something. I managed to retrieve this picture from the garbage later that night when no one was looking.
I compared this picture with one I had received from someone else while attending another party in the previous month. Are they trying to suggest something? Are they intimating I need my head examined? Or, is their message something subliminal like I should eat more nuts for the protein – as I am a vegetarian – instead of injesting so many over-ripe bananas?
I immediately phoned up Alexandre (Boloney) as he is the artistic genius behind Mustard and Boloney cartoons. I posed my dilemma. He said that can never happen – except maybe with twins – but that he himself often copies his own unique style to place into the next fresh cartoon we create. That’s what great artists do. But we never copy another person’s style. So both cartoons must be the work of just one individual.
“Interesting”, I said. “So it would seem that this cartoonist is a master of physical disguise but cannot mask his artistic tendencies. His style is like a genetic fingerprint.”
There was a lengthy silence on the phone.
Alexandre finally spoke up and added, “If you ate more bananas your vision would improve as they are a great source of Vitamin A. By doing that you would have clearly seen that these two cartoons could only be the work of the same person, and not that imaginary extra one in your head.”
An a-peeling thought. If he only knew.
This is my cat Subira (pronounced sue-beer-ah). She is a Longhair, Lynx, Bluepoint, Applehead Balinese. Now that’s a mouthful. She has Lynx markings on her head and ‘tuffed paws’; her ears, paws and tail are blue-tipped; here head is round (not like a Siamese cat’s head which is triangular; she is related to the Siamese); and her species is a Balinese. Whew!!! She is also hypo-allergenic.
And, of course those lovely blue eyes are to just die for.
Also, this is her birthday week! She’ll turn four years old on April 28th. I have events planned for her every day. It’s party time!!
Anyway, we stayed until closing time then headed home.
Outside, she got a little woosy and had to lie down a minute. I snapped this photo and tweeted it.
Here she is the next day still sleeping it off in my clothes box.
I didn’t want to disturb her to get my clothes so I went around for the entire day sans pants.
Good thing I work at home. (good thing my underwear is kept in another dresser.)
Fours years old! I still can’t believe it. We got her from a breeder when she was about eight months old. Our last cat lived to be 26 (human years); so we are hoping she lives to be at least twice that age.
This is the very earliest picture I have of her. It was taken by the breeder when she was just
(Notice the colouring she started with.)
And, what an inquisitive mind.
(she’s probably thinking: where’s my Marge Simpson blue hair? I’m supposed to be a blue-point! Are you guys just messing with me?)
Don’t tell her but I’ve planned a surprise birthday party with dozens of guests.
And, her parents couldn’t be happier.
I’m bringing in extra play toys for the event and a dozen or so more scratch posts for those that have left their nails fashionably long.
(Note: Subira actually has never scratched up our furniture – not even once! She always uses her scratch posts. True! Well, our couch is made of cement so maybe that has a little bit to do with it.)
Also, when my partner Alexandre and I created our own press what better symbol for our printing house than a cool-looking cat! We drafted many logos and this is the one Subira fancied the most. (her tail makes an excellent bookmark)
She just loves the fact she looks like a virtual hologram. And she herself chose the colour.
Well, I’m off to shape up the guest list for the ‘event’.
I think I’ll invite all kinds of animals. Of course it will be a BYOB. (bring your own box – as in litter box.)
With this crowd it should be an interesting evening. I am so stoked!!
Happy Birthday Subira! You are the cat’s meow.
Today is the 28th. The birthday girl is ready to party!!!!